More than we see Part II
by LovethroughLetters
Summary: Scenes from the second season. Take a look behind their masks, inside their Minds and enjoy these simple Short stories.
1. Chapter 1 Who am I?

_**Season two is on! I started yesterday and oh my god, Vincent looks hot! The only thing I really miss, is the scar. I think it was an important part of him, like a part of his pain worn on the outside... Welcome back to part two, I hope we will have even more fun than the last time.**_

 _ **J.T.:** It's just... I'll be honest, I'm not just worried about him I'm worried about you too. I mean you got Vincent, all the craziness at the precinct, your Dad passing away, it's been what like a month since the funeral?_

 _ **Catherine:** J.T., don't worry about me okay, just don't stop looking for Vincent... please!_

 _Same situation, four point of views..._

J.T.:

In the first 3 days, after they took him away, she didn't even slept. Catherine had managed to call in sick at work and then had moved in, without asking by the way. She just started searching and looked through every data we had about muirfield, read Evans notebooks a hundred times, she even had gone back to the houses, they had stayed the last time we crossed lines. With not many words spoken, we became a team with only one Goal, finding Vincent. I reduced my teaching hours and hacked myself in every camera system across country, setting alarms for his name, his tag numbers, potential alias or certain Keywords. When somewhere, someone tipped a mail online or sent data or files through the net, using words like cross species or animal DNA, my phone, computer and laptop would inform me instantly. The whole gentlemen's club turned into our search base camp, 7 monitors running, empty pizza cartons feeding only me and the coffee machine brewing constantly. We successfully shut out the world. She had been physically exhausted after the first week, only sleeping 2-3 hours per night and living on coffee and a granola bar every other day. Somebody's needed to feed her, because over the search for Vincent and the feeling of hopelessness, she just stopped eating. So, with Vincent in my mind I tried to take care of her as much as she would let me. Against my assumptions she didn't cried once in all the weeks it's been now. Not one tear. Holding herself up with sheer willpower, she searched for him in every waking hour and I knew, she would be doing this until she found him. She would never give him up.

We had grown closer over this time, first leaning on each other, processing the horrors we knew he would have to endure than sharing memories while drinking tequila. Only she could understand the loss of my best friend and only I could comprehend her desperation about the love of her life. We had no Luck and after the first month my hope started fading. Would he still be alive? After 2 weeks, I had to sent her home, calling Tess to get her out of this place because she wouldn't listen to me. When the first month had gone by we reluctantly had to go back to our lives, back to work as far as we could. but we held constantly contact.

Heather:

We were now officially Orphans. Watching the casket being lowered into the earth on the day of the funeral had made me cry so much, I just couldn't stop myself. Cat beside me hadn't, she looked shaken, devastated but with a Aura of ice surrounding her. She had been in that state since a few weeks, since the doctors told us that his chances of waking up were slowly fading away. Most of the time she hadn't even been home, sleeping god knows where while working all the time. Probably to forget, she was like that when Mom died too. I took care of everything, the funeral, the house while mourning alone. I knew how hard his death had affected her, how she missed her Dad. She had nightmares or she sat on her fire escape most evenings, saying nothing just looking at the city with empty eyes. She didn't talked much. But the worst were the attacks in the morning. She would start shaking, holding herself tightly with both arms while the rest of her body would shook with dry sobs. Never tears. It was heart wrenching, but I couldn't help her, hold her... she just just didn't let me. She walked away every time I came closer. So I tried to cheer her up two weeks after the funeral. From my first big bonus, I redecorated our apartment, bought new furniture and hired someone to paint the walls in this soft blue in every room, because I had read somewhere that blue was calming, relaxing. It didn't work. When she got home that evening, she just looked around as if she didn't realized the difference but thanked me in a quiet, monotonous voice. She just went to her room and in her bed. I had to wait another two weeks for a softly spoken 'I like it' when we sat together for dinner.

Tess:

She was slowly fading away in her desperation. I knew, what had happened but didn't saw her until J.T. called me to pick her up. When she got into my car, I almost didn't recognized her. Cat had lost at least 8 pounds, her face was pale and her cheeks hollow. Before I brought her home, I had stopped at a drive through where I bought us two big, greasy burgers with fries. Told her to eat or I would make her eat, because that wasn't what Vincent would've wanted for her. And it worked, she ate like she hadn't seen any food in weeks. There was no way she could work like this, so I continued with covering her up at the precinct while watching my boyfriend getting fired. Which lead to him firing me as his girlfriend, just out of anger over the world. So, freshly single I threw myself into work of which we had more than enough thanks to Joe's personal vendetta. As much as I wanted to talk to Catherine about it, just us two having some beers and a pizza, talking about losing him, I couldn't. Being dumped was hurtful but nowhere near as close to losing your Boyfriend to an evil organisation who would probably torture and kill him. So I gave her space, at work so she would have time to search and in private so she could start mourning him. Because I, as a cop knew how low the chances would be after 3 month. Almost zero. I just hoped she wouldn't lose herself in this hopeless search for Vincent, just as Joe has lost his self.

Catherine:

Guilt was my all overshadowing feeling. Guilt for not being there for my Sister, for being to numb to mourn my father, for not being able to function enough for work so that Tess had to do her job for two, for constantly annoying J.T. and mostly I felt guilty because I couldn't find him. Vincent was out there, enduring who knows what pain they inflicted on him and I couldn't help him. Couldn't safe him from all this. But I was sure he was alive, I felt him in every breath, in every heartbeat. I just needed to do more without knowing what exactly. I didn't sleep much, ate even less, spent every second searching and still, it was not enough. I knew in my gut's that he was out there and there was no way I would waste any time for crying or feeling sorry for myself.

When I drove to that warehouse on the piers I felt it for the first time in month, he was close. It was like a quiet humming in my veins getting stronger and stronger the more close I got. Or like finally breathing again. I needed to get to him, to see him with my own eyes. Hearing those gunshots alarmed me, I held my breath and stayed close to the walls. Then I heard this growl, I would recognize that sound everywhere. And so my feet moved without my noticing, it was like the pull of a magnet. Closer, closer until I stood behind him. His Name left my mouth and all the desperation of the last month fell away from my body. I found him. As he broke down in front of me in this puddle, the missing scar was one of the first things I saw. The hair was short, he had gained a few muscles more. But the feel of his skin was the same, warm, strong and alive. I was about to cry in joy, but then he looked at me questioningly and uttered three simple words, but these three words crushed my world.

 _ **Vincent:** Okay, where am I?_

Vincent:

Home? Definitely not! My head killed me, what had happened? Could this chick stop talking? It was too loud for me, it made the nausea worse. When I tried to get up it felt like my skull would burst. I took a look around, I was in a huge entrance hall and this irritating woman was firing questions at me while her strange Boyfriend just watched me with big eyes. I tried to tell them that they have to confuse me with someone else but they just didn't listen. What was this? What do they wanted? Was this some strange threesome invitation? I mean, this chick was annoying but hot, I could've totally gone freaky with her, but her creepy boyfriend? No, thank you. Abruptly, I remember the pier and that this asshole had gotten away. I needed to get going, back to the warehouse so I could start to track him. But on my way to the door the boyfriend stopped me by shoving a picture in my face. It's bizarre, the guys on the picture were clearly him and me. How was that possible? I was clearly getting a headache. Was this a trap? And if it was, should I stay and see what they do next? Should I just kill them and go on with my mission? No matter, I was not really in the condition to go on, not until my head stopped hammering and I was really curious about this picture too. If he knew me, he could easily be a security breach or a threat in the future, I haven't decided yet. Damn, the hot chick was leaving.

He got me a glass of water and I started looking around. It clearly looked like a bar or a club. How could you live in this kind of place? I started asking random questions, but nothing he said to me was helping me understanding this mess. And again, always questioning if I could remember any thing, No, I wasn't and I wasn't sure if I shouldn't or wouldn't. And when he told me that just the two of us moved in here, I felt a little uncomfortable, I almost wanted to ask how many bedrooms we used but it seemed like my look had told him all and he explained me, how we are best friends. Or were. We obviously haven't seen us for some time. The woman came into my mind, mostly how her hips had swayed when she walked away but she seemed so happy to see me. I don't remembered anyone looking at me like that ever, like I was a lost treasure. She seemed sad, almost shocked when I didn't recognized her, like a look into her eyes had should have told me all the secrets in the world. Somehow I felt a little bad to disappoint her.

But this J.D. Guy tells me we had an epic love. What the hell counts as an epic love? I never had a pale spot on my finger, so I thought I wasn't married to her. But the way she had looked at me... And than, he started again with this interrogation and I friendly threaten him, just so he would stop. I think he had gotten the message. His phone had interrupted us and while I looked at this giant wall paint, I just heard one word in the back round. Condor. They knew I was here and that I had fucked up my mission. Damn. I grabbed my jacket and got going. but this nice, little guy tried to hinder me from leaving this bar or club apartment. Was he serious? One look and I knew he would have shot me again, but I just couldn't bring myself to kill him. Somehow it felt wrong. Never happened to me before. So I just disarmed him and gave him a little taste of the headache, that still raged in my head.

The whole way back to the boat, my mind was always wandering back to that little brunet firecracker and the way she had looked at me. It had moved something in me but I couldn't put my finger on it. Shaking my head, I entered the door and got straight on the satellite phone, checking back with my handler. I had asked him about this woman but he just told me to go on, that she wouldn't matter. My mission was clear so I did my job, followed the trace of my Creator through the whole town. There had been one moment when I had almost lost him, when that fast rhythmic sound had distracted me. It was a heartbeat. A heartbeat, that for a second had consumed all of my thoughts. Focus Vincent, I told myself. Getting back on track I had followed the head of muirfield till I was standing in front of this High building. I could feel him in there, sensed his blood and knew, he would die tonight. I wouldn't let him get away twice. They could try to shoot me as long as they want, not one bullet would hit me. The men had been just little obstacles in the way for my target and once they were down, I had taken my time. Slowly circling him, enjoying his fear. It tasted sweet. But when I finally stood in front of him, this irritating heartbeat had come back and I realized for the first time, it's hers.

What was her name? Catherine. I tried to focus on my mission, to kill this pitifully excuse for a man in front of me but that sound was so distracting. Her voice was calling for me and the sound of her heart got weaker every minute. As much as I tried to stay in my here and now, it had pulled me in, almost hypnotized me until her fading heart was all I heard. Before the place could blows up, I had reached her and jumped. She weights close to nothing and felt tiny in my arms. Safely on the ground, out of the danger her heartbeat came back stronger than ever. Her smile radiated like the sun. And while she talked about saving and meeting, I only felt the joy in her eyes slowly engulfing me. It was confusing, like some spark was starting to glow inside of me. For a Moment I didn't knew how to move or how to act and she used that momentary Stupor to drag me into her apartment.

Sitting in front of her now feel almost too close, like she could touch not only my skin but my soul. I apologize to her, I feel so overwhelmed with all this Hope in her eyes while I only see a stranger sitting in front of me. She is sure that we will fall in love, that we are each others fate but I don't know how to answer to that. How should I react to all this hope? How could I bring myself to trust her? I don't know her, she could be an enemy with a beautiful face, trying to lure me in. But I didn't even believe it myself. The love is clear in her eyes. It makes me feel uncomfortable and undeserving for all these feelings from her, all this warmth she ignites in me. It makes me feel like my skin is to tight. As I let my gaze linger at her face, her hair and that flawless skin, she starts to ask questions again. She wants me to trust her, but this is dangerous, again too close. I can't trust anyone and her insistent eyes don't help, like she wants me to react in a certain way but I don't know how, don't know what to do. I want to go, to remove myself from this situation that I don't know how to handle. She holds me back and almost starts crying, I can see how much she suffered but have no idea how to help her. This whole speech of her, her words it's too much for my mind to comprehend.

I tell her that I don't know and that I can't tell her anything even if I wanted to. She nods her head but still looks miserable. I really want to do something, something to make her feel better but my head is completely empty, so I just stand in front of her, starring helplessly in her eyes. She again says, that she just wants to help me, that she will find Muirfield's Head. How does she think she could help me? This tiny human being? And than she surprises me by asking me to stay that night. Maybe she does know me, or a former self of me but I do hesitate for more than a moment. I have no idea if this place is safe, if staying with her is safe. I can't remember if I ever stayed with a woman. But Catherine looks so pleadingly at me, so heartbroken. I react almost instinctively and kiss her. It's just a short, innocent Kiss but a strange sensation flows through my body while her lips connect with mine. Like a hollow impression of coming home, whatever that could be.


	2. Chapter 2 Kidnapped

_**Hey my lovely readers, welcome back! There seems to be a problem with because i can't see any of your reviews. But trust me i'm working on it... Anyways, this was one of my favorite episodes so far, i had much fun while writing this. Hope you have too!**_

 _ **Gabe:** And then he went and killed someone._

 _ **Catherine:** Yeah, the Darth Vader of Muirfield. I just need a little time alone with him to undo what Muirfield did._

 _ **Gabe:** No way, he's too dangerous!_

Catherine:

I couldn't listen to them any more. I know they just wanted to protect me but they never had the chance to know him like I did. My heart was still so relieved that I had found him finally, that their lectures just hurt. Gabe tried to be logically, but I had hoped that Tess would trust my Instincts more. Yeah, I know this situation wasn't ideal, far from it but I would do anything to help him. And between my meeting with J.T. and buying sandwiches I tried to calm myself down, to process what had happened yesterday. How different he was. Stronger, more calculated and disciplined. Careful, always on guard. At the same time he spoke much more confident, almost cocky. He even walked different, stood different, always with his head up. But when I had looked in his face yesterday, in this eyes I loved so much, I had recognized his soul. The same gentle soul that had always protected me, had always selflessly put others before himself. It felt so cruel, he had been in front of me, there had been only a few inches between us but still, it felt like a whole continent. I just wanted to throw myself at him, hold him and kiss all they did to him away but he watched me with such wary eyes, almost as if he was scared of me, that I didn't moved a muscle. This would had to happen again on his terms. My kind, heroic Vincent was still in there, Muirfield had just found a way to repress this side of him along with all his memories. But I would free them, free him. So hopefully this picnic would help, we had done this so often, just sitting under the stars, feeding each other with grapes and small bites of bread. It had been better and more romantic than every restaurant in the world could ever be. It was our place, so much memories collected on a simple roof.

The weather was nice, not too cold so I didn't froze to death while I waited for him that evening, watching the sun go down. I had tried to track him, searched and asked through the city with his picture but with no luck, so my only chance was hoping he would come back. And he did. Standing in front of me he looked so reserved, like he was still trying to decide if I was just a lunatic following him all over town or maybe someone trustworthy. For a second I felt ridiculous, he didn't even knew who I was, who he was and I waited here for him with the full romance package. It must had looked crazy. Of course, he knew I had followed him, with all this new super senses. But maybe, maybe he came back for a reason? When I asked him he declined almost immediately. So while my small hopes went to the trash I tried to explain this whole situation, how I had no way to reach him and how I thought that this picnic could maybe help him with his memories. I felt a little stupid and realized how pathetic it looked. He looked unsure so I played my last card by telling him that all what had ever happened here on this roof was good, safe while hoping it would be enough.

Vincent nervously took a look on his watch and only then I noticed his clean, fresh smell and the new clothes. A frightening thought ran through my head, when he had no memories of us he could easily be with someone else, live with her. For a moment I was flooded with Panic. What would happen when he never regained his memories? Would he fall in love with me again, would he even want me? Or would he just pity me and go. He tried to make a joke but I needed some kind of answer. So maybe in my fear, I pushed a little to hard which only led to him put his walls up stronger than before and jumping off my freaking roof. What followed was some crazy chase while talking with way too many people. It was stressing me out, this whole situation and that everybody had a plan for me, an advice or just a new pep talk. So I decided against their help and tried to do this on my own. Maybe he would feel less threatened with just me and would finally let me help. I waited in front of the prison, desperately trying to gently get rid of Tess when a pair of strong arms encircled me, holding my mouth shut. I knew it was him, he was holding me tight to him and for a moment it was like my body was remembering his. I couldn't really explain myself with his fingers clamping my mouth shut and that he still could hear Tess wasn't helpful either. When his Hand finally let go of my mouth, I sucked in a breath before feeling his grip on my neck. A few words fell from my lips but than it all went black.

 _ **Catherine:** I'm trying to help._

 _ **Vincent:** It doesn't sound like help to me._

Vincent:

That little Minx. She had tried to play sweet but hearing that other chick talking about tracking me doesn't sounded so lovingly any more. It made me pretty angry, I had to admit. At her, for trying to lure me in with all these lies about love and us, angry at me for being so stupid to starting to believe her. I had always been focused, concentrated and then she came along with her big eyes and that smoking body and I threw all caution out the window. I could be glad that I hadn't told her any thing in my short term Confusion. Or whatever it was that she had made me feel. Maybe that was the problem, she had made me feel something. Sitting in her car, I debated with myself what to do next. Killing her was not an option, too much attention just because of her cop status and even if I was angry at her, it just didn't felt so good. Oh damn, feelings once more, could they please just go away again, they are really messing with my head. With no other idea, I took her on my boat and tied her to a chair. Not my best thought but I needed to work on my next mission, maybe after I was done I could threat her enough to stay away. Or come up with a better option. While I wrote with that dumb college chick, her heartbeat slowly increased, signalising that she would wake up soon. I decided to be still, maybe if she was afraid, she would be easier to handle. But something about her voice just took me to this edge again, tricking me into reacting to her. I was straight to her, honest. I had no need to lie and maybe if she knew that I had seen through her little charade she would give me some answers. Maybe tell me who had set her on me.

She stayed with the girlfriend story, which made me ask for proof. I had taken a look through her apartment when she had been on the roof earlier, there were no pictures, no men's cloth, no nothing. She had an answer to all my accusations and it annoyed the hell out of me. And the whole central park thing? I wouldn't had to kill him there if she had stayed out of my way. It was her fault. She had found a way to mess with my mind and it needed to stop, now. Protecting me. That was her Explaining. Like she could do that, I wasn't even sure if she could protect herself. Besides, I did not need protection. How could this tiny woman be so irritating? Making herself at home in my head, in my thoughts. And her constant chatter... She didn't knew when she should just keep her mouth shut. All this talking about connecting and helping me, made my head spin and still she couldn't stop asking questions. She insisted that I could trust her, not knowing that I trusted no one. When she suggest the lie detector in me should make the decision, it struck me that I, myself hadn't even thought about that. But for that I would need to look in her eyes, that eyes that made my heart race and my mouth go dry. Was it worth the risk? After a few seconds contemplating I slowly made my way over to her. Dropping to my knees in front of her, I steeled myself for this strange sensation that flooded me every time her gaze met mine. At first I just saw her eyes uncertain look into mine but with a little focus I quickly saw the truth in them. She wasn't lying. Damn, it would had been so much easier if she had been lying.

So, as calm as I could I told her to keep quiet. I tried to go back to work, finally making a date with my target and than getting as much information as I could about that location. Her Heartbeat was a constant back round noise, slowly trying to wear me down. But after some time I noticed a change, it became faster and her pulse started racing. She tried to talk again but her voice was shaking, almost as she would talk to distract herself and not me. I had a guess for some minutes but her constant swallowing was the final proof I needed. I didn't want her to puke on my floor so I shut my laptop and got her some water. Maybe I was a cold blooded killer, but even I had my limits and vomiting women was one of them. She took a sip and than faced me with an innocent look, telling me about acupressure and how it helped more. Ah, so she wanted to get her hands free. I decided to play her game and got her hands loose. She obviously knew about my strength, so I just sat down and pulled her to me, including her chair. A little part of my manly ego liked her surprised face. Like I had finally found something to irritate her like she did with me. But my victory was short. The moment I had her small hands in mine something between us shifted, like the air had been charged with electricity. Her skin was so unbelievable soft and she had no trace of fear, giving them to me freely, trusting me with her well being. Like she knew my touch would give only comfort. The slow circles I made on her wrist felt strangely intimate and that made me confess about that stupid pull I had towards her, I even told her about her confusing heart beat and how it affected me. Before I could stop myself I asked about that food and had offered her something to eat. I officially had gone nuts.

While I tried to put together something edible she told me about the guy I used to be. Just simple stuff like favourite films and music. She had listened a little too good and promptly asked about my missions and stuff that I couldn't answer. When would she get it? I wouldn't talk about it as much as she asked me. And when I requested some information about our relationship it became a bit strange, obviously we had some kind of secrecy love, with no dates and plenty of drama. How this beautiful woman had fell in love with this kind of man was a mystery to me. If she was telling the truth than I had been a jerk, an on the run stalker and had in no universe deserved this kind of girl. To change the subject, I asked her about our first kiss and it led to what I hoped it would. She was kissing me again and it would be heaven if she would stop asking about my memories. Before I could stop her, she told me about how we had done more than just kissing. Oh damn, today was my lucky day. I didn't thought a second about this whole amnesia mess, my mind had went instantly to the possibilities, which all included us naked and her under me, on top of me...

 _ **Catherine:** I have given up so much to find you, to be with you..._

 _ **Vincent:** I don't even know who you are!_

Vincent:

The moment my hand had touched her neck I knew this was bad, that I had crossed a line. Even in my primal state, I knew I fucked up. Big time. The panic brought me back quickly and even than, I knew that no apology in the world would help, but I said it no matter what. When I had came to her roof it was just my intention to talk. But again, her first words were not 'hi' or 'how are you' but about my freaking memories. I wanted to say sorry for my actions on the boat and maybe get a foot in the door for this picnic or any other opportunity to see her again. Because I truly wanted to get a chance with her. Just to see if this shared history she told me about would come back. She seemed happy about it, I think. She talked a little strange but I think she was happy. I had no idea how to do this, over the day I had realized that I had no experience, no memories to rely on. No idea how to talk to a woman I liked. I was flying blind hoping that maybe she would guide me a bit.

But than she started again with her speech, talking about someone owning me, like I was some kind of a damn dog, a pet for somebody to control me. Who the hell does she thought she was, talking about me like that. I was a soldier, strong and proud. I had hoped for a nice evening, maybe a good night kiss and she was questioning me again and again. I was so sick of it. Just because I had slept with her once didn't meant she was my wife now, nor meant it that I got back those stupid memories. I was getting angry which was my hint to get going. But she just didn't let me. She dumped all this pent up desperation on me, how she had suffered and tried to find me. She wanted me to trust her but didn't understand that I couldn't. I needed to get away, to calm myself, I felt my blood boil and searched for an escape but she kept pushing and pushing until I snapped. The look in her eyes I would never forget. Fear, naked and raw. She was afraid of me and somehow it made my heart hurt and my insides crawl. It was too much, the way she looked at me, the shock of what I had done and all this crippling feelings that roared inside me. So I just ran.


	3. Chapter 3 Liar Liar

_**Okay I think I go nuts, I see that you are reviewing to this story but every time I click on that button it says there are no reviews. Has any body had that problem before? Hopefully the support answers me the next time. Back to topic, what an episode I could write books just from Vincent's PoV... as always I hope you like it and have fun!**_

 _ **Vincent:** I hurt her._

 _ **J.T.:** physically?_

J.T.:

Oh crap. I almost brought that sip of water up again. That was really bad, but I didn't needed to tell him that right now. The way he looked, tired and shaken, it showed clearly that he knew he screwed up beyond words and I was more than a little relieved that he felt so terrible about it. That he still understood the difference between wrong and right. And that he felt remorseful. It gave me hope that the old V was still somewhere inside him. And honestly, I was also glad he had come to me, it felt like he trusted me enough to tell me about it, to search for advise. But surely not enough to tell me about his missions or the last three month. But right now, it didn't mattered to me, I took the little trust he had in me with proud and tried to find words that would help him. I felt sorry for him, standing in front of my like a beaten dog, knowing he messed up but with no idea how to fix it. Something must have happened between them since the last time I saw him. He wasn't so cold any more. Just the way he talked about her, softly like she was becoming important to him instead of being a stranger. Even, when he said he was going to stay away, I knew he would never. He just couldn't and Cat couldn't either. They tried it enough times. So with that out of the question, we needed to find a way to get through to him, to his memories and their shared past. And to turn this situation. Though his actions from last night had just made it a lot more complicated. Would she forgive him? I knew, it was usually unacceptable but this situation, their relationship was just too unique. And in some way I could understand his explanation, he felt cornered and flooded by all this new feelings he couldn't comprehend, it was no wonder that his beastly side would break out, trying to protect him. But would she understand it too? I doubted that she would be afraid of him now, she probably was shaken but scared of him? No, no way. But it had maybe destroyed the endless faith Cat had always had in him. And I didn't knew if he would ever get a chance to regain that again. There was not much I could do for him at the moment, so I just promised to check on her just as his damn phone started ringing. One look in his face, going from concerned to cold and I knew. Whoever contacted him was the mysterious Handler who had the power over him.

 _ **Gabe:** You wanna sneak on his boat? He is a supercharged beast with hyper senses, what if he catches us?_

 _ **Catherine:** That's just it, it shouldn't be us. You and Tess should be back up, than I can go in there and if he catches me, I can just say I came by to say hi._

Catherine:

I knew it was a dangerous plan when I went down the pier, but maybe it was my only chance to get my old Vincent back. He was controlled by who knows what, making him their personal assassin, that I saw no way of getting Vincent back without getting him out of their clutches before. Vincent defended his secrets like his life would depend on it and maybe that was the exact truth. If he would talk, they would kill him and he knew that. And I just kept pushing and pushing him till he couldn't take it any more. Of course it was his fault but my aggressive behaviour had a big part in this too. J.T. and I had talked about it and were both positive that this had to be the reason why he pushed me, but that didn't make it hurt less. He had attacked me, I still couldn't believe it, the old Vincent would had cut his hand off before hurting me. But this what not him any more, this was the new Vincent free from moral and feelings. And if I couldn't get through to him, then my only hope was saving him from himself and his actions, even when I had no clue how at the moment. But getting more information was a good start, I hopes. Standing in front of his house boat, I sent a short prayer to heaven that this would work. We needed answers and since he didn't trusted us enough to talk about it and maybe never would, this was the only way. With him nowhere to be seen, I got in and started looking around. I was surprised that the laptop didn't wanted a password, so I just put the flash drive on and pressed download. When Tess told me he was coming, I chanted for the download to go quicker and steeled myself for my performance. I closed the Laptop a second before he opened that door, whirling around to greet him.

He looked more than surprised to see me and because of his obvious guilt he didn't question me being there. He really looked terrible, J.T. had been right and Vincent's first words where of course another apology before asking me if I was fine. Honestly, I wasn't, so I pressed my foot down to make him believe me. He was ready to take my fury, to take the consequences for his actions and I took this chance to tell him clearly, that this could never ever happen again. He needed to understand that. He explained how miserable he felt about it and deep in my heart I believed him. Even reassured him that it was okay, otherwise I wouldn't be here now. My cover line about our relationship left my mouth shakier than I wanted it to be and I was a little stunned, when it actually worked. Maybe I was really good or he was still so concerned about me, that he didn't took a closer look. The realisation, that he seemingly didn't believed that I would ever lie to him made me feel even worse. Yeah, he had hurt me, but here I was betraying the little trust he had in me in a time when he trusted no one else. Vincent, I am so sorry. I do this to help you, I thought. He hopefully asked me, if he could see me again and I couldn't do nothing more than just answer with okay and flee. Standing in his doorway, hearing his hope and happiness about another chance for us almost killed me. I had to hold on to all my nerves, telling myself time and time again that this was right, that it was worth it.

 _ **Later that day...**_

My tears had already dried after an hour walking through the neighbourhood. I couldn't believe this was my Life. Lies, I had told them the whole last year and apparently my family seemed to build on nothing more too. My mother, my father and now even Heather. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt. I just wanted to go home, take a long, hot bath and drown my sorrows in red wine. But when I came around the corner, Vincent stood there in front of my door, a beautiful flower bouquet in his hands. I had completely forgotten about our date and like the predator he was he sensed my weak moment to start asking me questions. With my nerves all over the place I had no chance and I could tell the exact moment he realized, I had lied to him. That I had used us. For a second his masked slipped and I could see right away how much I had hurt him, how betrayed he felt, but as always he quickly put himself together. Coldly, he excused himself and left me standing in front of my door.

I hadn't thought it would pain me so much, how guilty it would made me feel. He had sincerely apologized and I made him believe, it was okay. That we were okay. Vincent had bought flowers for me, hoping for a second chance and I had played him. And now he knew it. Now the tears made their comeback. When he called I was prepared to get an angry speech but quickly realized he didn't knew, that I knew that he knew. What a mess. And than he sweetly tried to sell me some story of a fake memory. Of our memory! How could he, using something so precious to fool me? Was he trying to protect me or just getting me out of the way? No matter what, I was angry and done with playing nice.

 _ **Vincent:** What are you doing here?_

 _ **Catherine:** Me? I was going to ask you the same question._

Vincent:

The moment the elevator doors opened, I heard it. Her heartbeat. That sound that I somehow would recognize everywhere and that even followed me in my dreams. Turning around I saw Catherine, looking very upset and so incredible sexy on the same time. What the hell was she doing here? I had really thought she had bought the Lie and would be sitting on that pool right now. Damn. So my plan hadn't worked, now I had her to get out of here too, and preferably before I killed this maniac. Didn't she knew that it was far to dangerous for her here? As she stood in front of me her sweet smile slowly vanished and she told me angrily how she knew I had tried to trick her, she demanded again answers to her questions, answers that as always I wouldn't give her. It was like a never ending circle. She asked, no demanded a dance and while we swayed, she coyly explained how she worked on the same case and that she knew all along what I had planned. She warned me strongly to beast out in front of so many people but really, does she thought I was stupid? And than she had the nerve to threaten me with being tranqed. I couldn't stop myself from telling her, how she had used me for information, showing her how it wounded me being used by her like that. Her body so close against mine and her hands on me didn't help me playing cool either. I knew where this came from, she had not forgiven me at all. But as I told her that, she did this irritating thing of twisting my words and my thoughts until she was right and I felt guilty. Was it always that confusing with woman? That irritating?

All my Anger vanished when I watched her walking away from me. One second I was hypnotized by her form the next I heard his voice in my ear, threatening Catherine. I needed to find him, quickly and getting her out of here too, before Sebastian got his fingers on her. I had no luck with the father, but she was fortunately using sweet words and a little lie to lure the old man in following her. So she was interfering with my mission again. While the guest all hastily left, I tried to find Sebastian, but he was fast and caught me off guard, knocking me out. When I regained consciousness, her racing heart was the first thing I heard, fast like the flutter of butterfly wings. I quickly followed it to the closed elevators. The thought, that she was still here and that he maybe got to her turned my blood to ice. I let the beast out. Opening the door, I saw him holding her on the edge, laughing at her while she fought against falling with all her power. It spiked my rage in a way I had never felt before. Suddenly rescuing her was the only clear thought left in my mind so I jumped down and kicked him into the void air. At the exact same moment she lost her balance, calling out for me and my hand moved instinctively to her. Abruptly something happened. Images flashed through my head, making me almost dizzy. Me, pressing her against a wall in a tunnel or Catherine, crying on the ground in some kind of forest. Her dark hair had been in braids. And how we sat on a fire escape, talking and holding hands. Smiling at each other. Along came a bunch of feelings, slamming into my body like a flood. The need to safe her, fear and in the end, Joy, nervousness and love. It all crushed down on me, taking my breath away and her hand almost slipped from me. I pulled her to me, in my arms and for a second time stood still, I could do nothing but stare at her. It had been true, everything of it. We had loved each other, maybe we never stopped. But before I could say or do anything about it, I knew I needed to finish this mission. She was safe and I had taken care of another beast.

Later that night I tracked her to her apartment, an old brick building and there on the side of her house, I found it. The fire escape we had sat on in my vision. Looking around, I made my way up and than just waited. Sitting there felt oddly familiar, like we had done that more than just a couple times. The air, the smell, even the feeling of the steel under my hands, it all made me feel strangely calm, safe. Like this was a place well known for me. When she finally stepped into her bedroom and found me there, she slowly opened her window. I had this short feeling that it should always be open. I told her about the flashes, the memories but it was clear she didn't believed me. Not after I just had lied about remembering her. I tried to explain my situation, that I couldn't trust her before, simply because I just didn't knew her but now, now I remembered. I saw her standing there and felt all this feelings inside of me. Feelings for her. Wishing I could show her somehow how I felt. But Catherine made it very clear that it wasn't enough. That she needed to draw a line for herself. I had so many secrets and obviously, that was something she couldn't accept. I couldn't argue with that, I just couldn't tell her and she knew it. The hurt and pain were so visible in her eyes, in her whole face. Quietly, she told me it was too late, that she had suffered enough and hearing those words almost made me want to beg for forgiveness. But before I had any chance to say something, she closed her window, shutting me out and it felt like way more than just glass separating us. It felt like she had closed her heart too.


	4. Chapter 4 Hothead

_**Yeah, I don't if I did something or but overnight all of your reviews magically appeared :-D Thanks for all of your sweet words. And yes, I will continue this for the whole season 2! But maybe I'm going to need a little more time... So Episode 4 was hot in so many ways, hope you have fun!**_

 _ **Reynolds:** It takes time to find these beasts. I gotta get intel, vet it first so you know what you're up against._

 _ **Vincent:** Yeah, I don't give a damn what I'm up against, all right? I'll handle it. I just need this over and done with._

Vincent:

Three days, with no mission, no new beast to hunt and overall nothing to do. I seriously had the feeling I would go crazy soon. With nothing to do, my day consist of sleep, eat, work out and since a few days as the newest addition, thinking about her. I even dreamt of her. My whole body was so full with emotions, I thought I would bust. The memories I could live with, these fucking feelings were what drove me nuts. My heart and mind constantly battled between wanting to go to her, see her and feeling guilty for my behaviour towards her, my attack. After all I had put her through. Some minutes I was fine sitting on the bar, working and the next minute I felt so restless that I started doing push ups for no reason, just to get the edge off. So when my handler called I almost desperately demanded another mission just to prevent myself from stalking her, writing her love letters and making a complete fool out of myself. Because it would do no good, nothing had changed. She still demanded answers I couldn't give her and I clearly wasn't the man she fell in love with. There was just so much unsaid, so much unclear. Another Job would hopefully get my mind of, get me focused again because the faster I went through that list the faster I could stop lying to her. Maybe without all of this secrets we could have a chance. Until then I tried to work out that pent up energy. When my handler asked me about her, I chose my words much more careful. From the beginning I hadn't liked that he obviously knew so much about her, the Institution I worked for was dangerous. For her as much as for me. None of us should show any kind of vulnerability. They're were not really the type of people that should see any weakness in me because of some returned memories. I had no idea from where I came exactly, where they had trained me but thinking about going back because they believed I turned soft or unfocused made my stomach turn. To change the topic away from her I had asked again for another mission, explaining how I needed something to do. His open distrust in my abilities made me a bit angry and in a rash decision I had just ended the call. Damn, I had never talked to him like that but all this emotions had brought me in such a turmoil, I really couldn't think straight.

I was relieved to find this stranger on my boat the next evening, finally something to do, somebody to kill. I sized him up, standing there he was no competition, I could even take him out without changing. But better than nothing. The second I wanted to grab him, I scented a faint trace of her flowery smell on him. On his expensive suit. Catherine. He had to know her, had touched her somehow in the last time. A flash of jealousy went through me, hot and white but I kept myself in check. Gabe was his name, he explained that they were just friends, but his damn eyes sparkled when he said her name. It was harder to stay calm when he started rambling about he was the one who had tried to kill me, so I decided to make him talk faster. Stammering about how he once was a beast and how he was cured, was a bit hard to understand with my hand around his throat. In all his tiresome speech just two things peeked my interest. He had found another beast. And somehow they all knew about my top secret missions, but that was a problem I would attend later, first I wanted to strike another beast from that list. Taking another step towards my freedom. So I let go of Gabe and went on the hunt, ignoring his dumb wish to capture it. This beast was easy to track, now that I knew for what I needed to look. A faint scent of explosives, ash and fuel led me straight into his next aimed Fire. Strength and surprise was clearly on my side but than he had revealed his fire tricks and that was an information I truly had needed before hand.

When I woke up again I was lying in a hospital bed. All alarms inside me went off and I scrambled out of the bed just to go down coughing and wheezing. What happened? How did I get out of this Fire? And more important, had nurses already drawn my blood? The door opened and this Gabe guy came inside, helping me back to bed against my struggles. He pushed an oxygen mask in my face and told me to stay calm. Of course, I didn't listened to him and immediately tried to get up again. It only ended in another coughing fit. He left the room and I forced myself to stay still, at least until I could breath again. When the door opened and closed again, my breathing had almost returned to normal and he didn't returned alone. Catherine had stood beside my bed, watching me with worry in her eyes while asking if I trying to get myself killed. Not what I needed right now, I thought I had caused her enough problems, all these concerns. When her Friend Gabe left to give us some privacy I apologized again to her, knowing it wasn't her task to safe me or cover for me. I had been reckless and I knew it, I just didn't want her to get in to all this. It didn't made me feel less guilty when she told me how her life was upside down right now, she didn't say it out loud but my issues on top of that couldn't be good for her. Instead of given her space while getting my stuff done I made her more problems. If she would only understand and believe me, that I wanted those memories and the one thing I could do to achieve that was finishing that stupid list. It was the only thing I had power over, that I could control.. The last days I had always the feeling of drowning, drowning in all of these Memories and feeling with no one to hold on to. I wished she would've taken my hand, I just wanted some kind of physical contact, just a innocent feel of her skin against mine would have been enough. But unfortunately we didn't had time for that, because the door opened again. When those investigators came in, it was clear to everyone in the room that I actually couldn't answer any of their questions. Except for them.

 _I **nvestigator:** He's just like his father, God rest his soul. He leaps before he looks. Like all the Keller boys._

 _ **Catherine:** Uh, Aaron Keller? Any relation to William or Vincent?_

Catherine:

I was shocked by his name. A Keller boy, his boss called him. Son of William Keller. Vincent's Nephew. What a coincidence. Trying to find my speech, the beeping behind me grew faster and faster. As I looked over to Vincent, I saw his eyes crossing and rolling back, I tried to call him multiple times but than his hands started shaking. Something wasn't right. Carefully informing Gabe, it was clear to the both of us that those two men needed to go. Now. The door hadn't even closed fully when all hell broke lose. Vincent had trashed on the bad like he was having a seizure and all talking had no use. I tried to calm him but the first signs of a change were obvious. His hands became claws, shredding the bedding trough his fit and than his face transformed. He jumped out of the bed just as Gabe came back in, clearly searching for an exit, a way out. Like an animal in a cage. With nowhere to run, he checked himself out. Through the window. Very subtle. On top of my shock, I had no idea how to explain the completely ruined Room to the staff of the hospital. What could I say? A few raccoons went loose in here? Thank god, that Gabe took over so I just grabbed my stuff and raced down the stairs, to my car. Hoping that he would go somewhere he felt save, I made my way to his boat. But when I arrived there, he was nowhere to be seen. I had no idea where to search for him so I just sat down on his couch and waited. And hoped. After a while his front door opened and Vincent stepped inside, looking shaken but okay.

I couldn't understand why he was surprised finding me there, he just had some kind of fit and had jumped through a window. I was worried about him, I cared about him didn't he knew that? And I wouldn't let him push me away. He confirmed my suspicions, his Nephew had triggered another rush of memories and Vincent obviously had a hard time dealing with them. I saw it in his face, heard it in his voice. With the memories came also feelings back, feelings that overwhelmed him on so many levels. He tried to puzzle all this parts together, making them somehow understandable. When he told me the story of rescuing William out of this house, I saw his sorrow clear. With this sudden memory it felt like losing his brother all over again, feeling all this fear and despair a second time. Fighting for control he doubted them, distrusted the Images. He tried to find a way to cope with all this so I softly told him he should trust the feelings that came with remembering. The good and the bad, because they couldn't lie.

Later when we went to the fire station, I could see it in his eyes, in his step. He was nervous and more than a little afraid for another memory overload. It made me a bit sad. It shouldn't be that way I thought, getting his memories back should help him not breaking him down. But he stayed calm, even with the pictures of his brothers on wall and his nephew in front of him. It made me proud. With a little conviction they let us help, without asking any questions. We had talked with the Arson investigator about a next target when the alarm went off. Vincent immediately searched for Aaron but he was gone, on his way to safe the town alone. I didn't told him how much this heroic, borderline reckless behaviour of his nephew reminded me of him, Vincent, who had acted similar in more than a few situations. With my car we followed the fire brigade but as we arrived at the already burning building there was still no trace of Aaron. Vincent stubbornly made his way over to the entry, ready to go in as my pulse raced in fear for him. He hadn't defeated this guy the last time, his thoughts were all over the place and didn't he see that this building was on FIRE! Seconds before I went into a panic attack, he did one of the simplest things to calm me. Fast but softly his hand reached for my face and slid to my neck while his lips found mine. With this kiss and his gently command not to worry I felt my hands stop shaking and my breathing go easier. He calmed me with his certainty.

Almost half an hour later I was back to being afraid for him. My neck was stiff from looking either up or around the fire fighters and ticking time just flew by while all I could do was wait for Gabe. When I couldn't take it any more I slipped through one of the side entries, just to get a look for myself. Maybe Vincent needed help. I found nothing but when I came back down the stairs the arson beast suddenly crossed my way. I warned him just once. When he fell down, Gabe was rushing up the stairs from who knows where, straight away trying to shock him back. But with no Result. He tried it again and again but my hope of a cure was slowly fading away. It didn't work. When we came down there was still no sign of Vincent but a few minutes after we left the building, a group of fire fighters to my right ran into a side alley, calling for the ambulance and a stretcher. While all people started moving in said direction, my arm was gently pulled on another route. Behind one of the trucks I could finally throw my arms around him, relieved that he was safe and in one piece. We enjoyed a few minutes in each others arms, in silence and piece before I had to get back to work and he had to disappear.

I was close to home when I got his message. It was a simple question, just if I would like to join him on a walk. It sounded wonderful, just us two, no missions, no cases, finally a chance to talk without any pressure or threat. As we walked side by side he laughed about my failure to stay away from him, that fate brought us together once more. We talked about his memories and it felt honest, pure like I hoped it would. He let me in, I had also put down my walls and so we just had one of this great conversation where we could speak freely about our feelings, our wishes and our thoughts. When we came to our destination I was speechless for a second. I had been so absorbed in us that I hadn't realized where we had been going. My heart always hurt in this special place, how he could deal with this, I didn't knew. But this time I was ready to be his rock, to share his grief. When we made the last steps, I thought about his inner strength, how he fought through this pain again because he knew it was his truth, his life and his identity. Realizing that he couldn't change the past as often as he wanted. He needed to feel this, because the loss of his family had formed him, changed him into the man he is now. I was in awe because there in front of the grave of his brothers and for the first time in years Vincent considered himself worthy enough to fight for.


	5. Chapter 5 Reunion

**Thank you all so much for your sweet words again. They really made my day! So for the fifth episode I got no opening quote, just a situation I had found quite sweet. The quote comes later though. As always I hope you enjoy my work!**

Vincent:

After only two days I couldn't hold myself back any more. I had worked, read a few books, cleaned the house boat and worked out enough for a whole month, my muscles were screaming at me. My mind constantly whispered her name, painted her image behind my closed eyes and replayed our conversations, our kisses and especially the evening encounter after I cut her loose from the chair. Like in those old poems, she was my first thought in the morning and the last before my mind drifted into sleep. This new sensation, missing her was like a constant buzzing through my body. I didn't knew for sure if this was the first time that I longed for another person so much or if I just couldn't remember it. So I took a shower, searched for a clean shirt and made my way over to her. I just needed to see her, hear her voice. In front of her house I realized that I had no idea which way I should go inside. Was I allowed to use her door like every normal man or should I stick to the fire escape? I decided for the last, it seemed like more our thing and I even pushed my luck a little bit more by making myself comfortable in the stock of her bedroom window. She seemed to be on the phone with someone but even with my powers I couldn't hear anything over that terrible music that blasted through her apartment. Who had a bad music taste now? When she finally stepped in, wearing that pure white lace shirt I didn't really cared if I scared her. I just wanted to get closer, feel her skin and taste her lips. And I made no secret of it. But she broke the spell by literally kicking me out, talking about a party just for her friends, girlfriends. She soothed my disappointment with telling me how she knew I got better, that we were getting better. But she had to take care of herself. I really understood how she had put so much on hold in the last months and that she needed a bit of fun with her friends, but that didn't meant I had to like it. And than, as her doorbell rang, she used one of these heart stopping smiles that made my mind go blank and pushed me towards her window, before turning around and welcoming her guests.

An hour I just wandered through her neighbourhood, I somehow needed to be close to her for a little bit more. But than this old lady started to look at me strangely as I passed her store the third time. Was I turning into a creep? Taking a deep breath I took on Catherine's suggestion. With nothing else to do, I made my way over to J.T., it was probably better than sitting alone on the boat beating myself up over her. Or getting arrested because the old shop owner thought I was a stalker. He was surprised but let me in, which was followed by a very awkward moment of silence because none of us knew what to say or do. Finally J.T. broke the ice with one perfect question, Beer? A few minutes later we sat on his couch, sipped our beers and played a video game. He was easy to talk to and surprisingly he didn't asked me any hard questions, we just hung out, did was guys usually did and enjoyed a few beers. Between games he told me little stories about our past, like nothing special, he also told me light stuff about my favourites in beer, liquor, sports and food as it would be the most normal thing to do. Later we switched to the sports channel and J.T. cooked a fine meal of chips, pretzels and more beer. I really had fun, felt free from the pressure of missions or the situation with Catherine, I just watched a game with a friend. Like every normal dude and guess what, I never felt more at ease. Of course it couldn't hold on for long, so shortly before midnight a troubled Gabe was standing in the door, talking about a beast attacking Cat. He clearly hadn't seen me, the way he jumped and played dumb when I asked what had happened. Good to know that J.T. liked the guy as much as I did. But why hadn't Catherine called me? Were they trying to keep that a secret from me, to prevent me from going after him? I didn't exactly wait for an answer, he also obviously didn't wanted to give me any and just got over to her as fast as I could. Her window, the window I had sat in just a few hours ago was completely destroyed, with shards and shreds lying around everywhere. She wasn't alone so I waited for the right moment to give her a sign that I was here.

She was a little shaken but seemed okay. Just as I assumed, she had wanted to keep it from me, but she had to know that I would hunt this beast down. Probably even more viscous than usually, because he had made it personally. He had crossed a big line. It was a good feeling, like good to know that she was truly worried about me, it made me feel important to her. But she didn't need to, I had found his trace and would ensure that he never laid a finger on her again. He was good in covering his tracks but not good enough, the next morning I had followed him to an old church, more than ready for a good kill. Inside the old transept I felt him, knowing fully that he had waited for me. And I obviously had made myself a name. Beasthunter. When he finally came out of the shadows, standing in front of me I saw his mouth moving but the only thing I heard was a rushing in my ears. Rage. He had attacked Catherine, he had hurt her. The change came instantly and today I would take my time. He would pay for touching her, frightening her. Through the fight there had been a second were I wondered why he didn't change, but that was only making it easier for me. I enjoyed the fight, the power my body had and threw myself in every punch, every hit. Only when I had him in a lock, maybe through the slowing pace, I finally began to hear his words. And with his words the flashes came. Me as a soldier. A feeling of too hot air. And us in the very same position minus the urge to kill. He was right, everything clicked onto place. We were friends. And just like that my muscles let loose.

 _ **Catherine: Aren't you worried?**_

 _ **J.T.: Always.**_

Catherine:

I hadn't gotten very much sleep the last night, when I didn't heard from Vincent my mind as always imagined the worst case. He knew nothing about this new beast, what if it was stronger than him or had any special powers like this fire thing. With almost a litre of coffee in my veins, I half-heartedly made it through work just to drive straight to J.T. once my shift was over. Bud he hadn't heard of Vincent either. It was always strange how different we both acted in our concern for Vincent. Maybe J.T. was just more accustomed with the feeling, knowing him longer. While I freaked out he was the calmer one. My mind had already worked out a search plan or a rescue mission, when Vincent surprised us both by coming though the back door. Animately talking and laughing with the guy that had tried to kill me last night. Was I in some kind of parallel universe? Without realising it my body had gone in defence mode but Vincent assured me that it was okay. That this guy, introducing himself as Zach was safe. J.T. even knew him He had been on his funeral, which had been a little bit earlier than Vincent's. On how many funeral had he been overall I wondered for a moment. Vincent explained how they had served and volunteered for Muirfield together, obviously both of them had believed to be the only survivor. This Zach tried to apologize but something about his tone didn't let me believe him. Sure it sounded understandable when he told me his story but something in his eyes, his whole posture made my alarms go off. Even Vincent's urgent explaining how important I was to him combined with that sweet look in his eyes didn't help. I didn't trusted Zach, but couldn't put my finger on why. Maybe it was just the Cop in me but I couldn't shake of this bad feeling. I found it also somehow weird that Vincent believed him so easy, like they hadn't had seen each other in like 10 Years and like he hadn't tried to kill only 24 hours ago. But even if I didn't liked it I tried to trust his judgement.

So I let them alone and went home, trying to clear my mind so I maybe could find something nice to wear for my reunion. After ten different dresses, I surrendered and went safe with a good fitting, feminine suit. After that first fiasco I tried to get some stylish waves into my hair but it just wouldn't do what it should, so it ended up in a bun. Frustrated with myself, I pushed play on my stereo. To get myself a little more in the mood I poured myself a glass of wine and packed everything in my favourite little clutch while sipping my rosé. I felt better when I met with my girls in front of the school, they hadn't gone overboard on their outfit too. So I tried to relax and enjoy this evening. I wanted to stop thinking about Vincent or this Zach guy, just dance a little bit and reconnect with a time in my life when my biggest problems had been my biology grade and getting tickets for N*sync. When had that changed? Just as I danced to some kind of retro hip hop, enjoying this one night off I saw Gabe and Tess walking into the room. Just my luck. They told me how I had been right with Zach, that he was dangerous and that they were here to protect me which meant dragging me out of the school. I didn't wanted to tell them, that both of them would fail in trying to fight against a beast when it came to a test. Tess had only her gun and Game wasn't armed at all. We clearly needed Vincent. As he had heard my thoughts, he appeared by my side, confirming that Zach was indeed after me. Great, couldn't he wait till tomorrow? Immediately Gabe and Vincent started pulling me in different directions, both telling me to stay with them. What was going on, we all knew that no one could keep me more safe than Vincent? He apologized and saw my frustration as his blame so while the lights danced around us I tried to find words to make him understand my reaction. I had looked forward to this reunion just to have a night where I could forget my problems, that mess that was my life. And at the same time I felt guilty for telling him this, because it all seemed to pale against the stuff he was going though. I didn't wanted him to feel bad for something he could nothing for. He had lost so much and I almost cried because of a lost night of terrible music and bad tasting punch. It seemed unfair and important at the same time. But as always he helped me rearrange my thoughts, he made it all feel less chaotic with just a few words.

I was okay with going home now but on my way through the room I was rudely stopped by our mascot. What did Ira wanted now? But before I could ask he had pushed one of the security guys and then I just felt a strong hit to my stomach while I only heard air rushing. A following hit to my head made me dizzy and only then I realized that I had been pushed straight across the room. Ouch. Slowly, I got my orientation back, so even when my side stung, I tried to sit up. The room was empty but also full with noises, rumbles and growls echoed off from every wall. They were fighting, but with the room still spinning lightly I couldn't focus enough to find them. Looking up, my breath stopped dead because Zach stood right in front of me and he looked like he was ready to kill. Kill me. I knew I had nowhere to run, nothing to defend myself. As Zach's body got tight for a jump, two strong arms grabbed him from behind. Vincent. Zach had struggled only for a second before Vincent ended his life with a loud crack, letting the body fall to the floor beside him. Vincent had saved me again.

When the sound of sirens slowly came closer I had taken a seat on the stage, knowing my side would surly bruise in bright colours from the push, that had sent me flying. Vincent slowly walked over and asked me for the third time, if I had any signs of a concussion. It was funny how being a doctor was in his flesh and bones, how his mind remembered these medical things he technically shouldn't even know. We both knew, he had to leave because soon this place would be crowded with cops, but I knew Tess would find a way to give me a few more minutes of peace. As I looked around in the completely destroyed hall it made a pretty good metaphor for my life right now. Busted balloons lay everywhere and here and there were pictures thrown around. With his memories coming back Vincent also saw it, the metaphor, not the chaos that once was my reunion. And of course apologized for it. I hadn't needed him to say sorry but it was a good feeling, that he now knew and appreciated what I had done for him. What I still did for him. What had surprised me was his promise to made it up once his missions were over, it showed that he clearly planned a future with me. That was the moment I really got him back. We were once again on the same page, loving each other, hoping to build a future together. His words made me see brighter days, waiting just around the corner and this feeling made me forget about that horrible evening. This Man made my life better without knowing it, so I just thanked him. He wasn't the exact same but I would take and love him in every way. Tonight, Vincent had seen how he easily could have ended up like Zach but I decided I would never let that happen. We had both been lost somewhere on the way in our relationship and had always found a way to find the other one again. I just hoped we would never loose each other again.


	6. Chapter 6 Father knows best

_**Thank you so much for all your positive feedback, I really enjoy every single one of your comments, they make me very proud! Here now comes the next chapter and as always I hope you enjoy reading...**_

 _ **Vincent:** Nice Kick. I hope that's not me you're taking it out on._

 _ **Catherine:** No, lucky for you there is a new man in my life who is driving me crazy._

Vincent:

I knew it sounded cliché but, to me, it seemed like the sun shone brighter and the air tasted fresher on this cool spring morning when I made my way over to Catherine's apartment. The last days were I felt so out of control due to the overpowering rush of emotions had thrown me almost into a break down, but now they seemed like a soft forecast. That morning, it felt like a wall had finally crumbled inside of me and for the first time since the beginning of my flashbacks all these feelings and emotions running through my body weren't as overwhelming or suffocating as they once were. They now felt like a part of me, like they had been always with me just lurking beneath the surface waiting for a chance. A month ago I had been confused and more than slightly frightened by them but now they gave me hope, power and joy. They made me happy, she made me happy. Catherine had called me last night, just as almost every night before in this week just to make sure we both were safely at home and to simply tell each other good night. Yesterday though, she had sounded kind of troubled and only when I asked her the second time she had told me about her revelation about her biological Father. Honestly, I had been about to go over, just to talk with her and be there for her but she had sensed my intentions and stopped me. She had almost ordered me to stay at home so she could think things over by herself and I had understand her intentions without telling her that I was already halfway through the door, wearing my jacket by the time she told me this. So I just wished her good night and made my way back inside where I showered and dragged myself into bed. Sleep came fast and with him the dreams.

I was sitting under a sky full of stars surrounded by hundreds of little lights with Catherine in my arms, the faint taste of red wine still lingered in my mouth. It was cool, so I warmed her with my body, my arm draped around her small shoulders, knowing proudly that I had created this moment for her, for us. It somehow appeared to be a special day. But while I was still relishing this moment of peace and contentment, a tingling feeling overcame me and than the scene quickly faded away into blackness. When my eyes could focus again I stood in some kind of great entry hall and just a couple of stairs under me was Catherine, looking like a goddess. Though she was dressed in a beautiful gown, my eyes were drawn to her face where soft lace artfully concealed her face like a mask. She was so breathtaking that I could only made my way down those few steps and worship her with my lips, making them telling her the things my voice couldn't. Her body melted against mine and the blood in my veins became somehow hotter, thicker through the waves of lust and hunger that settled deep in my body. Her smell, the taste of her made me craving for more. I was unwilling when I felt this tingling sensation again, fighting against it, wanting to savour this moment a little bit longer but it all faded into darkness again, vanished into nothing. Next I found myself in a subway train, my throat tight with emotions holding her small hand in mine like my life would depend on it. Again, she was there, sitting beside me with a look of pure love in her face, directed at me. I felt so unbelievable close to her, on a level beyond anything I ever experienced, like our souls had recognized each others from afar and had decided to become one, knowing it was their destiny. Like I had waited all my life for her to find me. Warmth engulfed me and pulsed through my body, centring more and more in my chest until the sensation was so overwhelming that I jolted out of sleep. Breathless and covered in a fine sheen of sweat I sat in my bed, finally letting these emotions settle in to my heart, where they belonged. I loved her, loved her for a very long time, with every cell of my very being and though I had treasured that feeling, it always had felt kind of impalpable, just out of reach. Too good to be true. But now these feelings had an anchor, a past to connect with, not just a few blurred images in my head.

So when I went up her fire escape I was practically humming with joy, feeling better than I had in weeks. Like my mind and my heart were finally synchronous. Shortly before I was on her floor I started to hear strange non rhythmical noises combined with her very agitated Heartbeat. What was she doing? Silently stepping through her terrace door I got a first glimpse of her, furiously kicking and punching against some kind of work out dummy. I would say I sensed some pent up anger, she was so absorbed that she didn't even saw me until I had to grab her foot to prevent her from kicking me instead of the dummy. I was almost sure I wasn't the reason for her frustration but asked anyway. One night obviously hadn't helped her wrapping her head around that father issue, it would have surprised me if it had. She had searched for him since she had found out and the realisation that she knew him, that she had talked to him on more than one occasion without him saying one word had confused her immensely. Mostly to get in any kind of physical contact I offered myself so she would spare the poor dummy. She was so wrapped in her angry rambling that her movements grew more and more powerful, transforming her obvious disappointment into stronger punches against my hands. I surly would have seen her kick coming but I was so entranced by her graceful body and the power it held, that I couldn't react as quickly as normally. Her foot smacked me right against my chin letting the area explode in red hot pain for a second. But it wasn't the first kick that my face got and it wouldn't be the last, so I refused her offer for ice and just kept on with our conversation.

To get her mind off her Problems I decided it would be a good moment to tell her about those vivid dreams. I was nearly sure that they were memories of us but I enjoyed the sparkle in her eyes as she remembered them too and assured me they were in fact actual moments of our shared past. It didn't matter that she was sweaty or that it was still early, I wanted to held her in my arms forever, savouring in our new found closeness, making the most out of this moment of happiness. All caution had left me since this morning, letting me kiss her without any reservation, I could simply be with her, be Vincent. And in the meaning of trust I told her about my conversation with my handler, how it would all be over in a few weeks, maybe even days if I worked fast. Than I would be free, no more duties, no more secrets. I hadn't thought telling her about my final two missions would end up in a conversation about morals and humanity. Of course I didn't found it satisfying to kill somebody, I wasn't a damn serial killer but did I found it inexcusable either. It was simply part of my job and until a few weeks ago I never had any problems with it, it needed to be done so I did it, no questions asked and no hard feelings. But since she had come back to my life my view had changed a little bit. Now, I felt unexpectedly guilty about all the sins I had done, questioned my missions and my targets. And the value of a life, as in who had the right to decide when it ended. I tried not to think to much about it but Catherine was like the little whispering angel on my shoulder, wanting me to do the right thing. And I found myself more and more trying to be the man she saw in me. To end this discussion I told her about my plans to take her away. Just the two of us. In my mind I had planned it all out, especially the part where I worshipped her body under the bright night sky with the moon as the only witness to our love. But before this dream could come true I knew I had a job to do and she also needed to work things out with Reynolds, she didn't had much family left and maybe he had good reasons for his behaviour. If not she at least would get a closure.

Sneaking into that penthouse was easy with the knowledge I had, thanks to my handler. Right on the clock this girls had shut the security system off to step outside, leaving the door wide open like an unspoken invitation. Finding him was also a peace of cake, his heartbeat was the only one inside this penthouse and a steady thumb led me to the closed bedroom doors. For a moment I felt sorry for him, he had no idea I would end his life in just a few minutes. Just as my hand was going for the handle the door suddenly burst open, burying me underneath the cracked wood. Damn, that had hurt. I couldn't believe it, his pulse had been steady, calm a second ago. He had totally surprised me with his action and the force, something that had never happened before. He transformed instantly, roaring questions at me and send me flying across the floor with a kick to my side. Because of the pain, I was almost sure that one of my rips was cracked. He was far more stronger than I had thought, why had no one told me that? I was still on the ground when a shattering sound exploded in the room, moving his attention from me to his daughter. Her face showed so much shock, it was clear that she had no idea of her father's other side. And Windsor was so trapped in his rage that he instantly went for her neck, pressing her against the wall, demanding answers. Letting my beast free I landed a punch at his kidneys that should had sent him flying through the room but it just made enough impact that he let her go. Even with my beast power I could barley stand up against him, it was like punching a wall of cement. In the back round I could hear her calling someone, probably the police so I used all the strength I had to grab Windsor and threw him through a table, hoping it would give me enough time. There was no way I could let her stay behind, not after what just happened so I took her with me on my run out. Not my smartest idea but I had to make a decision in nano seconds, knowing he would most likely kill her in his fury.

 _ **Gabe:** Do you know if Vincent is on a mission now?_

 _ **Catherine:** Yeah, I think he is._

Catherine:

I hadn't been so sure as Gabe about the involvement of Vincent in this whole abduction scenario but I knew he had made good points. It was just that Vincent usually was very careful on his work, leaving no traces behind. If he really had something to do with the kidnapping, something had gone terrible wrong. When he didn't answered his phone on my fifth try, I got over to the boat, hoping to find him there. Maybe this was all a coincidence. He wasn't at home but on his kitchen isle stood a bottle of our favourite wine and next to it was a map of cedar woods. A smile blossomed on my lips, thinking about how he had sat here and planned this trip for us. But I had to focus, because before we could make that trip I needed to find him first, hopefully without that very public girl next to him. Discovering no trace but that ugly earring I felt my hope slowly vanishing. What had happened that he had taken her with him, making her a witness? Has she seen him exposed? Would he kill her? Stop always considering the worst case Cat, I told myself while I took a look around his living area. Alarmed by footsteps coming closer I took a look around, realizing that there was no other exit than the front door. Or the ocean. Not the best hiding spot. With no other option I quickly snug up and then to the back and silently let myself go down into the freezing water. Praying that my teeth wouldn't start clattering. They didn't find me what gave me the possibility to overhear Windsor talking to his men, confirming that Vincent was indeed with Tori. Crap. And he was on the hunt for them, wanting to kill the guy who had taken his daughter. Double crap.

After that weird encounter with my father and the following even more strange investigation I had caught eye on something he didn't. As we had talked to Windsor I had seen his men going through Vincent's backpack and that was when I knew where he went. Without telling my father I just sped out of this building, getting as fast as possible to my car. He would knew his way around that forest, so maybe he felt save there. Save enough to bring his hostage there or his bait, whatever he needed her for. On the edge of the tree line I parked my car. It was getting dark but maybe I was hoping he had started a fire so I could find them more easily. When my eyes had adjusted to the darkness I made my way into the forest. Hoping that somehow our bond would lead me to him.

It wasn't as hard as I thought, neither finding them or convincing Vincent that it was safer back in town. He seemed strangely restless on the way home and it got only worse when we arrived at the Gentlemen's Club. He double checked every door, every window and even the tranq gun while I tried to talk to a very confused Tori, helping her understand what had happened. I could understand what she was going through, having it experienced myself. The battle of what she had seen and what she thought to know about her life. I felt bad for her. She was an innocent and had her whole reality turned upside down in only 24 hours. For her sake, I hoped we could save her father. An even more agitated Vincent started do demand a plan but quickly dismissed the idea of flatlining as an possible option. It somehow dawned on me that he really wanted to kill Windsor, he didn't saw any other alternative. How could he suddenly be so cold about taking a life, talking about it while his daughter sat only a few feet away? I didn't recognized him, he was so different to the man who had kissed me yesterday morning. Where was his comprehension of right and wrong? He just explained that her Father was lost for all hope and to my utter shock and surprise she agreed to Vincent's point of view. Was really neither of them hoping that the love for his daughter would be enough for him to try? I couldn't let that happen so I made them promise to try it my way before killing him. With my mask in place I went into the beasts penthouse making him an offer he couldn't turn down.

His wanting to see Tori was understandable, none of us knew if this would be successful or a disaster but no one had seen his outburst coming. I could only push Tori behind me while watching the two of them fight in front of our eyes. Frightened I realized that Windsor had gained the upper hand and when he threw Vincent across the room, I thought he would probably kill us next. Maybe not Tori but definitely Gabe and me. Instinctively my hand found my weapon but I knew that the bullets could only buy us some time. They wouldn't stop him. But I didn't need to fire a single shot. Vincent got back to his feet and what he did next would be burnt into my memories forever. Instead of simply snapping Windsor's neck like he did it with Zach before, his claws plunged forward disappearing in that man's chest. In slow motion I saw his arm pulling back and it took me a few moments to realize what the bloody lump in his hands was. For a second I thought I was going to vomit, but I just couldn't turn away from that horrifying scene unfolding in front of me. How could any human being do that to another? When he transformed back I had hoped, no expected to see him as shocked as I was, but his face was showing so many emotions that I couldn't know for sure if he understood what he had just done. And how it would affect our View of him.


	7. Chapter 7 Guess who's coming to Dinner?

**Hey my lovelies, real life called this week demanding me to come back. So sorry for the waiting, I can't promise that this will never happen again but I will do my best. I really had my problems with this episode, another redhead I start to highly dislike, f*cking up VinCats life. This is really frustrating. And I'm a redhead too, so disliking them is new for me. As always I hope you enjoy!**

 _ **Catherine:** My heart is racing..._

 _ **Vincent:** Mine too._

The weight of his strong body, pressing me down on my bed and his hands caressing my body, my face and neck ignited sparks in me, like every time we were this close. With all that had been going on lately, we hadn't had much time for us, for being together in every meaning so we savoured this moments of just us two getting lost in desire. Every nerve in my body sang to him, feeling the glide of his fingertips on the skin of my hipbone and his need between my legs. My body had always craved his and this feelings only he could make me me feel. His kisses grew more urgent while my hands went for his shirt, pushing it up so I could feel his warm skin. That was one of those things that hadn't changed. His want for me, the way he touched me had stayed the same, old or new Vincent. Like we were made for each other, fitting perfectly. He was always gentle but with that noticeable power and strength that lingered just underneath the surface. Ready to claim was had always been his.

But today something was different, it felt the same but my mind was slightly off. As much as I tried to loose myself in this overpowering sensations, to concentrate on the feel of his lips, every time I closed my eyes my mind replayed that image from a few days ago. Him staying in front of Windsor, that bloody lump in his hands. Still beating rhythmically. My whole being had been shocked to the core of this display of horrifying brutality, something I had never before connected to Vincent. But it had happened and my brain couldn't shove it away, the image haunted me in my dreams as in my waking hours. I didn't wanted to let him know how much it affected me, didn't wanted him to think I resented him. But I couldn't forget it either and so I smashed our precious, much needed make out session by blurting out about it. Breathing hard, he sat up and told me again how he acted on instinct, how it would all be over soon. We had talked about it too many times without understanding what happened. It was difficult for me to make him understand that I was worried about him, how it had frightened me. But I don't wanted him to think, I was seeing him differently. Maybe he was right and it was a side affect of all this missions, of all the beasts he had killed. But I still had this nagging feeling in my stomach, telling me that something was wrong. It was obviously dangerous how he balanced on this thin thread between human and monster and maybe, with this action he had crossed it. That was what worried me the most, that something had snapped inside of him and I didn't knew if that could happen again. Our conversation was interrupted by my phone, answering it. I was surprised that my biological father suddenly wanted to bond over turkey. The child in me, that had lost so many important people, longed for a normal family festivity but he was in more than one way the wrong person. But the only option I had. One look at a slightly frustrated Vincent and I knew his answer, not going to happen. Rationally, he was right of course. We weren't a average couple, neither of us had much family and this every day activities like Thanksgiving just wasn't in the books for us. Just like that, I wish my Dad would still be alive, he would have liked Vincent, because he had always sensed to good in people. But with Bob it just felt wrong. And bringing an assassin and the FBI Agent who hunted him on one table over mashed potatoes and beans was just a stupid idea. And in no world I would make it through this dinner without him by my side so with on last glance at the man I loved, I just told Bob we had already plans. A nice family dinner sounded so tempting, but this wasn't worth it. As ever Vincent knew my thought and suggested that we could make our own dinner, maybe invite some friends and hope no one would die of food poisoning. What he hadn't seen coming were the next hours over cook books and ingredients lists instead of our clothes falling on my bedroom floor.

As I was planning our table décor the next day while inviting Tess to our dinner, she dropped this huge bomb of Vincent's last mission and Gabe's assumption, that he was his own last target. Forgetting about everything I raced up to stairs to get some answers, wondering the whole time how they could've keep that from me. And how right they maybe could be. When we noticed the missing files I shortly had a flashback from last year, from Vincent shouting at me that Muirfield tracks everything. But that wasn't possible, they were destroyed. Unless there was a new thread, because unlike Vincent I didn't trust whoever was controlling him. I dropped everything and rushed to his boat with Gabe and Tess behind me just to find it empty. Calling J.T. we had kind of an emergency meeting, trying to figure out how possible this new guess could be. We scooped through his laptop, something I knew he wouldn't be too happy about it and found coordinates which lead us to a district and the resent happened explosion. By the time I was close to freaking out and couldn't understand why nobody jumped to action. I mean, maybe he was in danger or got killed right in this minute and nobody was doing anything. As I let my frustration getting the best of me, voicing all my worries and fears the door behind me opened. Crap. Had he heard all of this, me comparing him to this maniacs? The hurt look in his eyes told me yes. And his words did too. The others tried to help me but I knew it wouldn't do a thing, he understandably felt betrayed. Vincent had had an idea that I was worried but to this point, he hadn't knew how much. And my choice of words hadn't be the nicest either. When I explained what had happened, he even got more angry, he had really believed that I would let his handler go. That we all would just trust him and ignore the fact that he was manipulated like a puppet on a string. Tess and I were cops for god's sake, what had he thought we would do? Through his words I heard again that he knew how dangerous the people, he worked for, were. But unlike us, he had been more concerned for our safety than for his own. Until today. My heart stopped for a second when he told us how he just got away from almost being killed. Although he was angry at me, at us, Vincent knew it was time to do something against this people. He didn't knew much about his boss, so together we came down with a plan to identify this asshole. So he could be free, free with me.

 _ **Reynold's:** Condor, I'm ordering you to move ahead._

Vincent:

The day had started so wonderful, I didn't know where it had turned to shit. This morning I had woken up peacefully after a night full of dreams. Dreams about us, no memories about us. Me, as I cleaned up a room while she was laying in my bed, her hair a beautiful mess that told me exactly what happened the night before. And happened again just a few minutes later. Or she, as she gave me some fake I.D.'s with our pictures and fake names, I didn't remembered the reason but I knew in that moment that she would give up everything in order to be with me. That I was her home, like she was mine. So with that images in mind and the knowing that this would be the day I had longed for so much, the day of my final mission, I felt invincible. Until I threw that pipe. When everything blew up, sending me flying backwards I was beyond shocked. He had tried to kill me, that Bastard. After all that I had done for him. I had followed every damn order, had never asked too many questions. But after all I was just collateral damage, a freak like all those beasts I killed for him. Somehow I not only felt betrayed by him, I felt betrayed by the world. With my memories coming back more and more I knew that this wasn't the first time. Years ago I had blindly trusted the Scientist who turned me into this and now I had trusted again, had followed commands and discovered that they didn't care shit about me. Furious, I made my way back, trying to come up with a reason why this all turned so bad. I was so fuming that I didn't noticed her heartbeat until I opened the door, just hearing the last snippets of her words. Does she really thought that I was out of control? That I was not better than these others? Why was she even with me when I was such a hopeless case? I felt my world crumbling, every safety slipping through my fingers. Being finally free after one last kill turned out to be a dream and now I wasn't even sure if I had Catherine by my side.

The plan to hunt down my handler didn't sounded so stupid so when we got back in J.T.'s club, they all watched me expectationally while I called my so called handler. Just hearing his voice made me almost go berserk but I tried to stay focused. His feigned concern about my safety made my blood boil. I tried to get more out of him, some kind of evidence but when he calmly lied again about my promised freedom I just snapped. I threatened him, meaning every word with my heart and soul. I would make him pay.

 _ **Later...**_

I had knew this was a foolish plan but it had been our only one, so I went with her. How stupid of me to be nervous if he would like me, if he would accept me as her partner. It all seemed pointless by now.. I stood in this cosy guest room, desperately trying to control my breathing and this overwhelming rage that coursed through me without reason. One hour ago we had just tried to figure out what Bob knew. I would clearly never get his approval and his view on beasts were even more worse. Cat and I had tried to find a way how we could come up with the topic without blowing our cover over some cookies and tea, making progress on very thin ice and now everything was out in the open. We had no other option than trusting him and I hated that he got that power over me, her, us. And that I was the one who screwed it all up. I was okay when we greeted Gabe and Tori and the next second it was like the cage inside me had opened by mistake. The beast came to life with a rush I couldn't control and had never felt before. Like a switch had been pulled, off to on. Catherine looked at me so disappointed and upset that I wanted to crawl into a corner. It wasn't that I wanted to beast out. She told me about how I had endangered all of them, as if I didn't knew that myself. So when she demanded that I should apologize or even beg for forgiveness I knew it was our only chance.

Over the first seconds I was sure he would never approve or accept any of this so I saw his words coming before he said them out loud. He wanted to protect her from me, even put her in jail to do so. And by threatening her, he had me. So when I sat across her on that table, I realize that this would be our only Thanksgiving ever, that I somehow needed to find a way to walk away from her. The hard part would be stopping her from following me. And as I tried to think of a plan, I childishly wanted to cry. To weep for this unfairness, this cruelty. We had just found each other again only to be ripped apart once more, this time by my own unwilling hands. As her asshole of father made a toast I wanted to slap him for, I clinked my glass with Tori. As our fingers brushed I felt it again. This roaring of fury humming through every cell of my body. And this time I suddenly knew the reason. Not wanting to cause another scene I excused myself, fleeing out of the house. The air seemed too cool on my overheated skin and seeing this bench I sat down, grasping on the shredded remains of control I still had while trying to understand what was different on Tori, what made me react that way whenever she was near.

Just as my breathing turned normal this buzzing started again, getting louder and louder. All my senses and nerves were on alert by the time she stood in front of me and the closer she stepped to me the more my skin started to prickle. I told her to stay away, honestly I wanted her as far away from me as she could go, she destroyed anything I had build up, anything we had fought so hard for. Yes, I knew now what she was but I didn't wanted anything to do with this, with her. I wanted her to go away. I didn't wanted to care that she was alone and frightened with this revelation but somewhere deep inside me I felt sorry for her. Another poor soul trapped in this madness, in this mess that was my life for so long now. But in difference I had years to get used to being like this, she was new and overwhelmed. Tori had just learned about the truth of beasts days ago and now this spoiled, sheltered girl had the life she knew ripped away from her. As much as I despised the situation I couldn't let her deal alone with this. I just couldn't. Her desperation was almost tangible, she had no one but me to guide her through this new life. When I tried to comfort her, our bodies brushed and it was like an explosion of endorphins. Suddenly my whole body went rigid, hard and the beast inside me screamed in Want. Tori must felt it too, because her eyes widened in wonder and desire, every movement of her was to get closer to me. I fought with all my power against this haze of hormones, surprised by the intensity of overpowering feelings, when I heard it. Her heartbeat, her steps coming closer every second. Catherine. My first instinct was to push Tori away but then I realized that this was maybe my only chance to meet his father's clause. So filled with self hate, I stopped fighting against my primal instincts and let this Girl kiss me, my skin crawling the seconds her lips touched mine, knowing Cat would see us.

Her pulse told me everything, the second she saw us and the moment her heart broke in tiny little pieces. I couldn't stop myself from going after her, letting her anger wash over me fully knowing I deserved every hurtful word of it. It took me unbelievable strength to keep my face clear of the pain that I felt on the inside, while all I wanted to do was throw myself on the ground at her feet and beg for forgiveness. But like she said, it wouldn't get better, it would never end. If I would stay with her, Daddy would put her in jail and all because of me. So I let her walk away from me without flinching in agony, hoping that somewhere she would know that she owned my heart for the rest of my life, that her name was written across it until it would crumble to ash.


	8. Chapter 8 Man or Beast?

****So again starting with a scene, it was the best way to start in my opinion. My dislike turned into fury, I almost wish Alex back because Tori is clearly more manipulative and dangerous, plus why is she so into his father's killer? I really don't get it, is this some kind of Stockholm syndrome? And, no offense but I think the actress's acting skills are beyond bad... However, I did my best and as always have Fun with this piece!****

 _ **Catherine:**_

Hearing that bells made time stood still. One second I was devastated about the events of that day, the next so much made suddenly sense. Horrible sense. Gabe seemed to know it too. So without another look at my so called father I ran to my car, throwing my bags in and started the engine. If we had know before, maybe this day could have played out differently and I didn't even wanted to think about how I treated Vincent, not knowing what Bob had told him in their conversations. I could imagine it wasn't the normal concerned father talking, probably just more lies and threats. How could we not see this, it seemed so obvious now. And it was clear that he was still after Vincent, maybe Tori now too. My car was fast but today I felt like I was crawling, that somehow we didn't had enough time. This little nagging feeling in my stomach had become a black hole, crushing my insides. After Gabe reluctantly told me about the call from Tess, I drove even more faster breaking almost every traffic rule. Panic seeped from every pore of my body. This couldn't be happening, I couldn't loose him, not right now, not ever. All of a sudden this stupid kiss felt like nothing, just another obstacle to overcome, I would forgive it if I could only hold him in my arms once more, knowing he was safe. Minutes felt like hours as I flew towards the city lights. When I arrived, letting my car just were it came to halt at the building, the extent of the explosion was unbelievable. Steel, Glass and other remnants lay scattered all over the place, with the lingering smell of smoke in the air. It looked like a war zone. Even with his power, I had no idea if he could have survive something like this. My only hope was that maybe he wasn't in there when this happened. Out of my mind I raced towards the entry but was held back by Tess and Gabe. Of course they wouldn't let me go up there, despite my begging. Maybe I looked as crazed as I felt in my fear. They just sent me home and with the sleepless night and all the panic coursing through my body, hindering me from thinking straight, it was maybe the best idea. I could have done nothing there in my current state.

As I made my way upstairs the exhaustion finally got to my body, my legs and eyes grew heavier with every step and I could think about nothing more than a hot shower and than maybe crying myself to sleep. With the cellphone in my hand. But when I closed my door and turned around, Vincent, my beautiful and alive Vincent stood in the middle of my living room, with some slightly burnt clothes and smudges of ash all over his face. My body went instantly on autopilot, I could do nothing more than run into his embrace, holding him as tight as I could while repeatedly thanking every god in heaven. I checked if he was hurt but saw no wounds, just a few scratches here and there. Tears were running freely down my face now as I tried to tell him about my father, but he had put the pieces together himself. Only then he ruefully lead my attention to the unconscious figure on my couch. She was definitely more bruised up then him, with bloody scratches all over her face and swallowing my emotions down, I gave him a wet towel so he could clean her wounds. Sitting on my coffee table, he tried to explain me how they affected each other, how she somehow focuses his powers every time they came near each other, which made me painfully remember how near they had come yesterday. But this new discovery had probably saved both of their lives, so it was a two edged feeling. I still felt hurt and betrayed but without her and whatever it was she did to him, Vincent would had died last night. And I didn't knew if I could live in a world without him. I understood why he had came here, how this was a safe spot but it didn't made me feel better knowing that she was laying on my couch. This was all such a monstrous mess and we needed to talk about this as soon as possible. Only this wasn't the time for our relationship issues, we needed to find a way to make my father pay for this, to build a case that would put him behind bars forever.

Obviously I wasn't alone in that thinking just that for Vincent it wasn't enough to put him in jail. The way he said he was going to kill him told me he was dead serious. A cold shiver ran over my skin, I had never heard him talk about ending someones life so easily. The Vincent I once knew would have searched for any other option than killing. I tried to reason with him, making him understand that I knew how much he had suffered at the hands of Bob Reynolds but that murdering him just wasn't an option. In seconds he had changed in a completely different person, someone I didn't recognized. I couldn't be with a murderer. It was just wrong in so many ways. Yes, he had killed many people but I always could explain it to myself, could always justify it. But this I couldn't, it would be cold blooded. Far out of every greyish zone. So I told him in all honest, if we wanted a future, together than we had to do this with a plan. Within the Law. If not, I would never look at him the same way. He needed his revenge, I could understand that but we need to do this the right way. My way.

I knew that Vincent barely trusted me that we would take Reynolds down within our borders and also I had the suspicion that we only had one chance before he would change his mind and go after him himself. The plan Gabe came up with was a long shot, but the only one we had while the time was working against us. I wish we had something better to present to Vincent but unfortunately we didn't. When we told him that for this plan to work out we would need him to track the attacker, I was a little annoyed that it all came back to Tori. I knew he loved me, he had told me again this morning but even if that kiss didn't matter to him, it had clearly meant something to her. I saw it in her eyes, how she looked at him like he was some kind of guru to her. Secondly, I doubted that she could do it at all, not without Vincent's help. So while they tracked and Tess stole the body with J.T., Gabe and I were busy putting everything together we had on my father. After that we drove to his office were I acted my ass off. I should get an Oscar for my performance, sitting there silently crying while all I wanted to do was punch him until his face was a bloody pulp. But as we all know, Gabe had always been good with words so I really thought that he had taken the bait. I started to believe that we truly had a chance, that we could bring him down. That euphoric feeling held until we arrived at the Gentleman's club and got the news from Tori and Vincent.

She didn't even understood fully what she had done, only acted like a child who couldn't admit that it had made a mistake. And what a mistake, our whole plan, the only chance we had went out the window and as I tried to make her understand that but she just became more and more unreasonable. Didn't she saw that Vincent's life was on the line, his humanity? Had no one ever taught her what was wrong and right? I knew, she had been sheltered but now she acted almost like she didn't care at all. That a life for her was worth nothing, except hers. And it made me more than tense that Vincent tried to explain her actions, like he understood her reasons. Didn't he saw this too? Gabe backed me up by telling her the meaning of the law but she just made another rude comment. I had the wish to slap some sense into her. It quickly turned in a discussion about how murdering someone was wrong, again, and this time it was two against one. I couldn't believe how this dumb girl openly encouraged Vincent to kill a human being, while making me look like I would make a difference between human and beasts. Me, who had accepted Vincent with all his sides from day one. How could he let her say that, was he thinking similar? Did he really see me that way? I felt like I was spiraling into some alternate universe.

After they left, I pimped my coffee with some bourbon just to take the edge of my devastation, while discussing this mess with Tess. Was this girl for real? Why hadn't he told her to stay calm, to stop sabotaging this plan. Had my judgment misguided me? Had I've been so wrong with Vincent? A little piece just wished to have my old Vincent back, the one who had always tried to safe a life rather to destroy it. And that Vincent hadn't glanced another look on Tori and her hateful words. But he was gone and now all I could do was to prevent this new Vincent from acting like the beast that his old self had always feared to become. It felt like all this moral roller coaster was becoming to much, like I hadn't had enough strength for this fight any more, not when I was fighting alone for him, for us. I knew, when our plan failed he would take matters into his own hands and than I would loose him to his beast, and with that probably to her.

 _ ** _ **Tori:**_**_ _ ****_ _ _Let me help you feel what I feel. Let's take care of Reynolds together. So that he can never__

 __hurt us again.__

I never felt this conflicted in my life, not even when I first met Catherine after they brain washed me. And than I had thought I was going to get nuts. It was like I was pulled in different directions, Catherine appealing to my humanity, to the man she had always seen in me. The man she loved so much. And I had always tried to be my best version for her, but this was not some case we were working on, this was personal. Her father had basically ruined my life. And almost hers too. I fought with this overpowering need for revenge spurred on by Tori's whispers of accepting of our nature. I had seen the disappointment in Cat's eyes when we left, when I had not interfered in her fight with Tori. What could I have said? I had understood both opinions, maybe Tori had sounded a little immature but she had a point. The law couldn't help us and that plan they put so much hope in, would never work in a million years. He would get away, walk free while we would try to forget how he made us suffer. No, not any more. All my life I had been pushed around, I had been used and controlled how they had wanted, was hurt and almost killed a hundred times and than thrown away like trash. He had taken my freedom, my self determination, my family, my woman and almost my soul. He had made me into a killer and had left me alone with the aftermath of my wrongdoings, the remorse, the guilt. I was broken in so many ways, in so many layers, a shell of a man and now I couldn't even get revenge on the man who had done this to me. Because if I would give in into that I would loose Catherine. How she could make me choose between this? After all that I had been through, all I had done for so many people didn't I deserved a little justice for myself? It didn't helped that Tori followed my every step, always telling me how good it would feel to kill him once and for all. That we would be free from him, that he would do it again.

That she was with me everywhere had a simple reason, after her apartment blew up I had realized that she had nowhere to go. She couldn't use her credit cards because we were supposed to be dead and surprisingly she had no real friends either. So after I found her sleeping at a bench near my pier it was clear that I had to do something. Now I was sleeping on my couch, which was way to small by the way, while she slept in my bed, emptied my fridge and turned my bathroom into a freaking cosmetic studio. Maybe I was too nice but there was no way I would kick her out and leaving her alone with all of this. She would get herself killed or exposed in less than 48 hours, of that I was sure. Maybe I helped her because I felt responsible for her, maybe out of guilt of killing her only family. I didn't knew exactly and hadn't had the time to figure it out. I just feared she misunderstood my generosity, I had noticed that she always watched me out of the corner of her eye or found a way to brush against me which made me feel uncomfortable to a whole new Level. Not even talking of her relationship with Catherine, because it was a disaster. At least, over the last days I had become acclimated to the feelings she brought out on me, the heighten senses, the increased strength and even the want. Maybe it was like a strange mating call because we were two of the same kind but I was still a human who could make decisions with his brain. And my brain said no in every language. So, she always tried to get closer, I tried to keep my distance while sorting through this mess and honestly, it drove me a little mad.

When I told her to stay on the boat that evening, I made sure she knew that I was dead serious. I really needed some air, some alone time. Wandering through the streets I wondered how my life had become such a wreck. A few days ago I had kissed my girlfriend with the sun streaming through her open windows, telling her about my plans for a weekend away from all the crap. Had I knew what would happen I had kidnapped her than and there, preventing all this Chaos from happening. But no, I had been so stupid to believe that it was all so simple, just one more mission an I would be free. And while I was clearly daydreaming, he had set up a trap to kill me. How could I be so naive, after all this memories I had gotten back I still trusted everyone, even the guy who fucking brainwashed me and made me a murderer. This Man had the nerve to play charade with us, sitting over cookies and tea while planning his next attempt to bring me down. What made my blood boil even more was that he had found a way to use my biggest weakness and that he had turned me against his daughter. I would have never done the things I had done to her, letting Tori kiss me when I had known who he really was. But as always I had been blinded by the need to protect her. In the end, it was all his fault and deep down I knew that jail was far too good for this piece of shit. I wished he would suffer just like I did, like we did. In my rage I had worked myself so up, that I became lost, I had no idea where I was. Standing on a bridge in some kind of industrial area I took a deep breath to calm my racing pulse and tried to find a way back. As I looked around my body suddenly froze, there it was, her heartbeat, lightly but coming closer fast. I searched the area and found her finally, driving her car in my direction. And she wasn't alone. The source of all our pain, our sorrow was with her, probably on his way to a prison. And in that second I somehow couldn't take it, couldn't take it that he would get a nice cell with TV and daily meals, while I stood in the shards that were once my life. My body vibrated with all this hurtful memories, all the things he had taken from me and than my beast just overtook and pounced. I hit her car straight from above, but in my haze I was barely thinking about me, her or anything. I just wanted to get to my prey, kill it as slowly as it had tried with me. I got him out of the Car, enjoying the sight of this Coward crawling in the dirt. With every punch I thought about all those stolen months, every kick was for the pain he had caused her and me. His words were the final signature under his death certificate. But I wanted him to look at me when I ended his life, wanted him knowing that he was killed by the monster he had created. In delight I watched his skin color turn blue but abruptly I was distracted by a voice to my left.

Catherine. My primal functioning mind recognized her, saw her weapon but her words made no real sense. Just sounds and a few words. But the intention was clear. How could she ask me for his life, for me to let him stay alive? Every part of me screamed for blood, demanded the kill and despite that she had been able to distract me for a few seconds, I wouldn't let him go. So renewing my grip on his throat I waited for the life to disappear from his eyes when a loud bang thundered through the night. Excruciating pain flashed through my side, shocking my system enough to transform me back immediately. When my mind started working again I couldn't believe it, she had shot me. The woman who had claimed over and over again that she loved me, had shot a bullet straight into my stomach. Blood was seeping so fast out of the wound, staining my clothes and dripping in the dirt that I needed to press my hand down to stop the bleeding. For every normal human being this wound would be deadly. As I looked at her I saw so much pain in her face, but I just couldn't understand why, she had done this, she had pulled the trigger. Suddenly I needed to get away from her, from this. My mind screaming in agony because it was clear to me. She had shot me to safe him, obviously for her his life meant more than mine. So much for a future together. Maybe she should have pointed at my heart, right now I think it would have hurt less. And if I didn't made it to my boat and the first aid kit quickly, it wouldn't even matter anymore.


	9. Chapter 9 Don't die on Me!

_**Hey my ladies, so as you noticed some time has past. I saw this episode at least 20 times over the last days, have tried 5 perspectives, hell even Tori's. In the end it were Vincent who let me in, with a little help of J.T.! But as a resume, this is one of the worst episodes in my opinion. Not for the actors but for the writers. This was nowhere the Cat I know, this was some cold hearted woman I don't know. So this Chap is somehow shorter because her part is missing. I couldn't find any reason to act like she did and I tried... So it could only get better, I hope! I hope you can somehow enjoy this, especially because I worked so damn hard on it...**_

 _ **Catherine:** But would you rather die here or take a risk out there?_

 _ **Vincent:** It's a risk either way, all right? Not for you, maybe not anymore, but for me, it is. I am the one who suffers the consequences when this whole thing blows up in my face._

Didn't she see the cracks in my shield, the holes in my armor? If this goes wrong. I had no where to go, nowhere to hide because than everyone would knew my, knew my face. No shadow would be big or dark enough to hide me. The fear of getting hurt, the need of protecting myself had been like breathing to me. A castle made of the walls around me and J.T. was the only one with a key to parts of it. Until she came into my life. She had seen me, had brought me to life again. Had led me into the dawn. Until I I lost my balance, until I got lost in my beastly Side. And after she had turned her back on me I didn't knew if I could go back. Or forward. Before I would decide anything I had to rearrange my life, somehow try to find warmth without her as my sun. And the more she pushed the more of my cold mask slipped away. Of course I was shocked that she had shot me but a night of pain and wiping my own blood away gave me time to think. And she had been right. She could have had shoot me in the arm or leg, that would had been less drastic but I understood her point. I had been so consumed in my rage, so blinded by my need for revenge that I had lost myself in it. And now I had to life with the consequences, so without her. And when she had stood in front of me this morning, so cold and distant I just couldn't take another blow. So I put on a mask, hid my emotions and my pain to maintain some dignity. I was an ass, I was selfish but I needed to do it to protect myself. If she would have reacted with gentleness I would have cried on her feet. And killed my pride and ego with it. So I was relieved when she stood in my kitchen with her own mask in place.

But Catherine knew me to well. The first smell of weakness, of fear and she jumped right into the core of my problems. The threat or chance of being exposed. Seemed like the only Plan today and everyone except of me thought it was the greatest idea of the world. But for me it meant lying again, pretending again. To go back to a life as Vincent Keller without knowing him, being him. Over a decade I had been a loner, a beast and a monster, a dead man. Always faceless, nameless. But it had always been on my terms. The thought of giving up the little control I had made my heart race and my stomach turn. And like I told her, if this would go wrong I had no one to scoop up the shards. I would have to glue myself back together. And maybe someday there would be one crack too much, one split to wide and I would crumple. Beyond repair. And I didn't knew if I were strong enough to take that risk. Something I didn't really wanted her to know. And before this discussion could get any worse the opening of the door saved me.

 _ **Tess:**_ _But you brought blood._

 _ **J.T.:** It may not be enough It's all my fault._

My Hand weren't working fast enough. As always, I was a slave to my panic, knowing it wouldn't help me, would hinder me but I didn't knew how to fight it or better prevent it. Especially when it came to my Friend. Yeah, I put myself in danger for him, I knew that very much. I just was saved from prison by Tess, normally I would die in embarrassment for her to come and rescue me. But this wasn't about me. So I cursed at my fumbling hands while trying to get this blood transfusion to flow. It wasn't the first time I took care of him, hell I had seen him worse but this past he had chosen? It would be a road to self destruction if he didn't came to his senses. And he couldn't do that without Cat, who unfortunately just shot him two times in a row. And I believed she had a good reason to. But if they would see the bigger picture, they would knew it was my fault. I had never thought of it last year, they were happy together most of the time, grew and became better versions through the love they shared. So it would never mattered. But now, when all of this had gone to hell I felt the heavy weight of guilt. Like a stone chained to my feet and it drowned me more and more. How long could I watch the misery they went through without saying something. How long before Vincent could see it on my face. I had buried it in the furthest corner of my mind, had cemented it into a wall. And for some years it slept. Had made himself noticeable only through my need to help him, save him. Like actions could tell less than words.

What I hadn't thought about was Tess, Tess who looked right through me when my walls were down for a second. And so I told her and waited for the shocked gasps, for the accusations and maybe outrage. But she didn't reacted like I had imagined, no she saw it completely different. For me it felt twisted a hundred times until I wasn't the worst friend of the world any more but the more she talked, the more I started to see it. And while it didn't erased twelve years of guild and secrecy it made me feel better, it gave me hope. That she understood my intentions, my reasons. Tess didn't changed the way she looked at me. And she would see something good in even my worst wrongdoings and that maybe, one day when I would be brave enough to tell Vincent, he would see it too.

 _ **Later... (back to V)**_

When I pushed the woman to a quick death I had used the last strength I had in me. Now knowing Catherine and also Tori would be safe, I finally stopped fighting this blinding pain, drowning in it. The second I let this pulsing consume me, my legs gave out and it was like a light was switched off in me. When my eyesight became clear again, I lay in Tori's arms while slowly bleeding out on the floor and then, a hidden door soundly opened to my left. Seeing Catherine safe and unhurt calmed my racing heart. I knew I should be thankful to Tori, she was holding me, pressing on the wound most likely trying to stop the bleeding. But it was the view of her, standing in the cascading sunlight that helped me deciding that I didn't wanted to die like this, not today here in this dirty old store. But no matter if I wanted or not, I knew I would, if I didn't get medical help and soon. So I uttered the words I had fought for so long, defeated at last. 'Call 911' and like it was the easiest thing for her to do, Catherine just stood there and dialled, while I fought for my life on the ground before her feet.

When not even dying at her feet made her care for me, than nothing would. A few month ago, I had never believed that she could be so distant, I really had believed her words of love, her act's of adoration. Had fallen for her with or without memories. And had burned it all to ashes in only two days. For the first time in a long while I was scared, scared if I would make it, scared for my future and most of all scared to face this future that I couldn't control. My mouth was to busy to suck in some air, so when I tried to call her no sound came out. With my fear of this uncertainty overwhelming me, I desperately needed her, her touch, her braveness. Maybe her believe in me, because right now I felt so small and afraid. With my eyes I begged her to come over to me, to hold me and to stay with me. Please Cat, don't let me do this alone. Or with this almost unknown Girl who knew nothing about me. But she just calmly talked to Tori, explaining her what to say to the doctors so my beastside would be save. All rational, clinical. Giving the responsibility of me over to Tori while I tried to hide my stupid tears. When her eyes fell on me at last, I hated myself for this lack of words, begged her again with my eyes not to leave. Knowing nothing would hold her with all our ties so freshly cut. Catherine turned around and left, taking the sun and the warmth with her. The sound of sirens came closer as my whole body shivered and my mind finally drifted to peaceful unconsciousness, letting everything that hurt slowly fade away.

When I woke up again the pain in my side was reduced to a dull sensation but the rest of my body felt like it had been hit by a truck. Every muscle ached, my throat felt dry and my head hurt. The Air smelled of disinfection and blood. The Hospital. Noticing the soft sound of breathing next to me, I let myself hope for a second but I sure knew I would see red hair instead of warm brown. Catherine had left me, she didn't love me any more, couldn't love a beast, reminded me my aching heart. I had ruined all her trust and robbed myself from a future with her. Remembering all this my heart now hurt too. When Tori noticed my awakening, she gave me water and told me the news, the interest that my resurrection from the dead had spurred. And calmed my sudden rush of panic. The fear of what could happen stole my breath and made my hands go numb. Staying under the radar had been my life the last years, a whole decade, this reaction was in my flesh and bones. Worst was facing it alone.

Sure Tori was sitting next to me, but that was all she was, next to me. She was thrown in this life and knew nowhere to go. So she stayed and we tumbled in this strange kind of relationship, slowly accepting the other while not knowing how to label it. Love? Never. But for now we somehow needed each other. She knew nothing about my fears, my past. She didn't knew me, hell I didn't even knew myself but was thinking about exposing me to everyone on the global. Making room for a trillion questions I could never answer. I was no hero. I was an experiment gone wrong. A recluse with no family to welcome me back. I was just a guy who had no power to run any more. All I would do again was lie. About who I was and where I came from, nothing new besides the story would be different now. And I would do it out in the open instead of in the shadows. I tried to remember how it was to be normal. How I acted before my life went downhill. When I was part of the society. I couldn't remember. When the nurse kindly told me, that they would come in the morning, with their cameras and micros I almost threw up on her. How could I ever agree to this? Someone would find me again, find Tori and than everyone would knew. Or someone would asked the wrong question, someone would make me angry. All those possibilities without any safety net, no hiding hole. With no one other than J.T to trust. Maybe someday I could trust Tori, but who knew that today? The room suddenly felt small, the air lacked of oxygen. At night I didn't slept one minute, always swaying between wanting to flee and than realizing it would do no good.

So in the morning I took a shaky shower, politely declining Tori's offer to help and got dressed in the giant robe she had bought for me. With a fresh pain shot from the nurse, I slowly made my way through the long corridor,focusing on taking steady breaths to calm the panic raging inside me. Instead of making myself free I felt like going for my death sentence. I didn't want to come out to the world, but didn't wanted to hide any more either. I just wanted to find peace. Counting the steps to ease my mind helped and by 39 I stood in front of the door. Behind it, the world waited. When my feet refused to obey for a moment, I took a last deep breath and than made the last footsteps out of the shadows. I didn't even had the courage to thank Tori for her reassurance simply because it didn't matter. There was only one Woman who should stand there with me, our hands entwined. But Faith had betrayed me again. And so I stepped into the light of those cameras, showed myself to the world I had avoided for so long while feeling more naked and alone than I had ever.


	10. Chapter 10 Ancestors

_**Hey my lovely readers, even when you disagreed with me the last time, I was relieved to see glimpses of the Catherine I liked so much, in this 10th episode. My earlier problem was, that I couldn't believe that she was so devastated in episode 8, when she thought he was dead and than a day later she almost didn't seemed to care that she nearly killed him in episode 9. Or hid it just too well for me to see. I was too fast for me personally, acting so contrary within just 24 hours. But I found it highly interesting how different people saw those scenes. Now Catherine is back with me and finally kicks some ass again. As always thanks for your reviews and I hope you enjoy!**_

 _ **Vincent:** I don't know, Tori. This whole public thing, I thought maybe it would help stop the lying but the truth is I'm lying about myself more than I ever have. _

Vincent:

I didn't know how to describe how I felt after walking out that studio, maybe the best word was hollow. The first days after the press conference at the hospital had been so crazy, too many people suddenly wanted to meet me, interview me and even the freaking mayor had invited me into his office. And they all asked me the same questions over and over again and the more I told my carefully made up story, the more it felt like the dirty lie that it truly was. They had dressed me up, styled my hair and called me a hero in national TV, Tori had told me, there were even people who called for a medal of honour for me. For my heroic actions in the battle. How ridiculous. All of a sudden invitations to social events appeared in my mail box, send by total strangers, people were recognizing me on the streets and cameras flashed everywhere. For Tori, it felt almost normal given her history but I flinched and ducked at every sudden movement. She tried to help me, calm me but after all those years of trying to be invisible I had forgotten how to make small talk, how to react normal when people suddenly jumped in my way and talked to me on the streets. It felt like an alternate reality and in all my dreams I had never imagined this much attention. It felt wrong. They weren't talking to me, weren't interested in me. They all wanted a good story, or just get to know a war hero, something I couldn't be further from. I was like a trophy handed down. They asked me about my life and about my future plans and even women. And I had to smile and lie again and again which made me feel worse. It made me feel like an Impostor. How could I ever think that this would be a good idea? Sure, no one had an idea about the beast but being out in the open like this, so unprotected made me uneasy, almost paranoid.

And in the nights my thoughts went more and more around, running in circles while preventing me from finding sleep. I had felt so detached and restless, so lost these last weeks, searching for anything that could ground me. Anything where I could be me, were I didn't need to act and pretend. Where I was accepted. And somehow I had stumbled in this kind of relationship without realising it. With Tori. I knew it wasn't fair to her, because my Love belonged to Catherine, she still owned my heart. But the fear of being alone in this mess kept my mouth sealed shut. Tori didn't saw it or blankly ignored it, I had no idea which. We were like two desperate persons, with holes and wounds none of us knew how to mend, with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. So we stick together. There was was some kind of understanding between us. As the only two beast on the planet we thought it would be the right thing, rational. Deep down, I think we both knew that we used each other. She needed someone she could belong to, something that felt at least somehow like home. And I needed an anchor. So I wouldn't loose myself in all these lies. When the interest in me finally faded a bit, I turned my attention and time to this skeleton and that weird shackle. Searching through Books and Databases, studying it with J.T. as always on my side. Tori was interested at first but the whole process was beyond her. And she didn't understood much when J.T. and I talked about DNA samples and Age determinations. So most of the days she had stayed on the boat doing who knows what while I was at the gentlemen's club. Trying to find out something, any thing about how this skeleton was so valuable and what it could tell us about beasts.

When I got the message from my friend, Tori and I dropped anything. The club was left in chaos when we arrived, monitors laying busted on the ground and poor J.T. was pretty shaken. What he told me about the Skeleton, while holding the ice to his bruises, blew me away. This piece of Information changed everything. I had always thought the serum had been made, developed by Muirfield but as it seemed I wasn't a invention, I was just a reused freak of nature. They had been more like us, somewhere in time. Of a sudden, we had some kind of a genealogical tree. Had they all been so unhappy with their fate, like me, like us? Had they just extinct over decades or were these primeval beast been eradicated? To stop my mind from going nuts with all these new information, I tried to track these bastards down. To get some answers. I knew my reasons, but why would anybody else on this planet needing this shackle? What did they know that we didn't? So after arguing with Tori who strangely didn't really cared about all this questions, I followed the scent to a bar. Where I was confronted with a hard reality, something I wasn't ready for, probably never would. Her. No matter how much I told myself that it was over, that I had Tori and that neither of us cared about the other, I knew deep down that it was all a lie. My Lungs stopped breathing the second I saw Catherine. And when she kissed that guy my world stood still. And than went cold. A very pissed of Tori got me out of this stupor, out of watching her. Had she really already moved on while my heart was just held together by band aids? But what should I do? I had no right, I was the one running after another girl, who lived with me, slept in my bed. But then why did all my instincts scream at me to break this guys bones, all of them one by one for touching Catherine, for even looking at her. For taking what I had lost. Taking a deep breath I pushed these feelings down and turned around, because going far far away seemed like the best option for now.

 _ **J.T. :** Wait, you tracked Cat?_

What a coincidence, I thought. As much as Vincent tried to stay away from her, like magnets they always ended up near each other, wanting to reconnect. Mistakenly tracking Cat would just be the next sign from his subconscious that he had chosen wrong. He obviously seemed to be pretty agitated about it. Just from seeing her. Not that it was a surprise for me, because no matter how hard both of them pretended to be over each other they maybe would never be. And if his mind was as possessed by her as I suspected, maybe he tracked something that remembered him of her, felt her in danger. But the way he played with his cup expressed without words that there was more. When he finally told me about the kissing part it explained so much. Why this threw him so far out of track. In this strange Triangle were so many messed up feelings. I wasn't a expert but even I saw how Tori was falling for Vincent while he was still madly in love with Cat, no matter how much he tried to conceal it. So one of them would definitely get hurt. And Cat? Was understandable disappointed, betrayed and had build a fortress around her heart, with barbed wire on top. Now they all danced around each other, both of them desperately masking the pain of loosing the other while Tori tried to find her place in between. I told Vincent my suggestions about Tori, how she hoped for him to turn to her but he didn't really got the hint. Was he so blind that he didn't saw her feelings or did he purposely overlooked it? I believed, she had not really a chance but he needed take this seriously, acknowledging what he was doing with her, to her. That he used her as an crutch for his own broken heart. Maybe he had really no clue about women...

And to get out of this Hell he felt he was in, I knew Vincent had to come clear with himself. Let all this chaos go and concentrate on himself. On his History. Accept himself fully, with the beast and all. I had watched the old Vincent's struggles for years, back when he had despised the creature within him, when he wanted nothing more than to be normal, human. And I also had observed the new Vincent, who was way more merged with his beast side, willing to embrace it to a point where he had almost lost himself in it. Neither of the extremities would make my Friend happy in the long run. I wanted so much to help Vincent but i knew that this wasn't my fight. I couldn't bring Vincent the balance he needed, no one could that had to come from him alone. And maybe then, if the circumstances were more than perfect and the stars in a mysteriously good alignment Catherine would open her Fortress and her heart for him again. Only then. But Vincent was not there yet. Not even close. So I kept my thoughts to myself and tried to be there for him when he stumbled through this mess. Hoping he would someday realize he had to love himself before anyone else could.

 _ **Catherine:** Same thing I'm doing here, working on a case. So don't blow my cover._

 _ **Vincent:** I see. Si that's why you had your tongue down some guy's throat._

 _ **Catherine:** What, you jealous?_

Catherine:

I couldn't believe it. I had done everything I could to get some space. Had cleared my apartment of every memory, had thrown myself into work only to be pulled back into this beast mess, which also meant Vincent mess. Did I needed to leave the state to get some air? I had almost begged for this undercover job, not only because it would get me occupied but I could forget myself for a bit. Be someone else without all this drama. Wear a pretty dress and hunt some bad guys felt way better than crying my heart out every night in my bed. Not that I would ever let anyone know that. I did my best to feel confident and strong. I needed to get myself back, that woman who had a life which didn't centred around a man. Around Vincent. Seeing him with her on every damn newspaper didn't really helped but it steeled my sake. Somewhere over the last year I had become someone I didn't like, someone who I didn't recognized. I had lost my own personality, my live over Vincent. Without realising it. So working would hopefully get me back to myself, helping me clearing my head, I thought. Until I stood in this bar, wearing my best bad ass clothes and attitude while frozen in spot at his View. He would blow my cover without knowing it, I saw it in his eyes, in his movement towards me and so I had to react. It was maybe the most effective move but also the meanest thing I could do. With my eyes closed, my lips on this strangers I could feel Vincent's look on me, burning a hole in me. When I opened them again he was gone. Despite how we ended, I felt bad. Dangerously on the edge of my own sea of misery I went to the bar and ordered tequila. Three of them and they all quickly went down my throat. I needed to concentrate. Get back on the case. So after almost drowning in the cold Hudson and infiltrating an Russian embassy like some spy, I wanted to punch something when Vincent appeared in front of me. Keeping myself busy with pouring glasses I tried to find out why he was here. Why, oh damn was he here?

He didn't fool me, as always his eyes couldn't hide his hurt over the kiss, no matter what he said. And he was as determined as me to get this gem. Believed it was his. So we threatened each other until I delivered the ultimate low blow of shooting him again. He left with no word and as much as I told myself to look away, my eyes followed his every move. Watched as he flirted with that beautiful woman while I gritted my teeth so much it hurt. He punished me for the kiss, I was sure. Letting me feel the same way that he did yesterday. Angrily I made my way after him, disturbing him just in the right moment. Seeing him with Patrick, his hand around his throat was like a deja vu. The same posture, the same raging anger. He admitted killing Shorty without any sign of remorse and I would not let him take another life. And while we stared at each other, with none of us retreating I felt like I was looking at a stranger. Who was this man who murdered without even caring. I lowered my gun because something in him, in his eyes scared me beyond words. Some flicker that showed me he would desperately do anything to get this gem. Even killing someone in front of me. And to be honest, I couldn't shoot him again, it was a burden that I knew I couldn't bear. So to save Patrick's life and my sanity I let Vincent disappear and with him the gem.

To explain that to Dana was harder than I thought. She was furious, overly pressuring and so the feeling of her keeping something from me grew stranger and stronger. Not a game I wanted to play so I almost left. When she finally shared her presumptions with me I was terrified how close to the truth she really was. And when she gave me the folder with the old articles, it opened a secret door to a history I could never had imagine. Could that all be so much more? Could it be faith? What immediately brought a big, new question up. Did I wanted to get involved with that? With all that Beast stuff, the skeletons and the gems? But after reading all of it over night I knew my answer was yes, under the condition that I could draw a line. A line between me and a particular Beast. So I would be unaffected from any outcome. The decision made, I came to work the next day and jumped into the cold water. I accepted something that was offered to me openly for a long time now. Gabe's Affection. And maybe with him, an almost normal guy I could become something, someone strong enough to find the truth without loosing myself again.


	11. Chapter 11 Held Hostage

**Hello to all my readers, I would say it's half-time in season two. Nice to know that you're still with me and what a sweet episode was that? I found it very good, the story, the dialogue and even glimpses of my beloved couple, without actually being a couple anymore. Great. So as always I hope you have fun reading, enjoy!**

 _ **Catherine:** Look at this. Tori and Vincent at two separate parties, and she's wearing that necklace. _

_What is he thinking, parading her around with a stolen necklace._

Catherine:

It felt like it was becoming easier. To be without him. I had tried to keep myself occupied, had worked out more, had gone shopping and planned Tess's Party as a revenge for mine a year ago. I didn't get so teary any more but that didn't meant I was over Vincent. Maybe I would never be. But I didn't saw any chance for us anymore and I forbid myself to wait any longer. I had my heart crushed enough times and now I only wanted to look forward, which meant focusing on myself and to a certain point also Gabe. He was handsome, smart and totally in love with me. He also knew about everything beast related, so I would never had to lie, without actually being one. Which was a major plus on my list. So when I was on my way over to him, just coming from the bakery where I got the cake for Tess, I was in a good mood. Until I got out the cap and saw this damn newspaper. Every time I thought I was doing better, that I had gotten some distance from him something little just snapped me right back into that mess. Last week it had been the wine Gabe had bought, such a sweet gesture but it remembered me at our anniversary, Vincent had gotten the same red wine for me. And I remembered also too good how he had tasted after drinking a glass of it, how when he kissed me the tastes mixed, wine and pure Vincent. Which resulted in me fleeing home, leaving an confused Gabe behind. Now his Face starred at me while he wore an expensive suit and had his arm around her. His beastly mate, or whatever they were. Swallowing down the lump in my throat I tried to resist buying it but lost the fight. The paper burned in my hand, begging me to read anything they wrote about the two so I really needed the few blocks that I had to walk to Gabe's apartment, to calm myself down. When he opened the door I immediately started talking. How insane they had to be for wearing that necklace in public, how reckless. Would he really use her as bait? And how could she be okay with that. Gabe turned my attention away from this stupid paper and to the banner he had gotten for Tess. Looking around, finally seeing how lovely he had decorated his living room just for Tess, for my friend reminded me why I liked him so much. He represented an easy life for me, free of drama and simple things that brought joy. Normality. It was what I needed after the last year. But as I tried to kiss him, just like I did a week ago he surprised me by taking a step back. What? He started again with the banner but I interrupted him. Had something changed and I didn't realized it? He thought I wasn't ready for something new, that I was not over Vincent and he probably was right. But I would never admit that openly, not to him and definitely not to myself. So I did my best to make it look as this was all about the necklace, the case. Hoping he would let it down.

But no matter how hard I just tried to assure Gabe, Vincent was like a itch I couldn't got away from. Just half an hour later Dana showed us and Tess the same damn pictures, clearly identifying that stupid piece of jewellery. And she wanted us to get it for her. Great. One week I had managed to stay away from him and now I felt like some cosmic joke was pushing me straight back to him. Knowing I had to be near him again, see him again made my emotions run wild, I was nervous, angry and afraid and a total fail by trying to hide it. I knew that Tess saw the panic in my eyes but she reassured me on our way to his boat that she had my back, that she would be by my side. So ignoring my racing pulse we made our way down the pier. I though I had steeled myself for all possibilities but getting pulled in and thrown against a staircase hadn't been on my list. Being a cop I went straight into defensive mode, holding my gun tight and directly at my attacker. Tori, of course. Just looking at her made me angry and Vincent defending her like I was the bad guy only fuelled my rage. So maybe my speech was a little more aggressive than usual. Arresting her hasn't been my original plan but I needed to make a point. They couldn't openly ignore the FBI with showcasing this stolen necklace. Maybe it was a little exaggerated but someone clearly needed to remind these two that they're weren't above the law. Plus it felt to good to cuff her but I wouldn't say that out loud.

Tori was completely obvious to the trouble she was in, she sat in our interrogation room acting like an arrogant bitch. She did everything she could to make me jealous and she hit more nails that I would ever show her. But I knew him better, knew the difference between the way he looked at me and the way he looked at her. She kept talking about her connection with Vincent without seeing how he used her. It drove me nuts how blinded and short sighted Tori was. Dana came before we even could make up a plan and so we could only hope that she wouldn't make a mess. What, of course she made. Throwing that officer through the window was hard to explain and I knew with one look at her that she couldn't get herself calm enough, so I did the only thing I could, I tranqued her. Turning around as the door opened I saw straight into the barrel of a gun. Crap this day got more worse every minute. My mind searched for an idea how to get out of this while these guys handcuffed us. And, tragically the best I could come up with was Tori, the same I just had put to sleep. Carefully I tried to talk to them, convincing them to take me to her. Tori lay in a cell, totally unconscious and with my hand cuffed behind me all I could do was kick against the bunks metal frame hoping the sound would wake her up. When she finally did, I tried to explain the situation and my plan as good as I could. I needed her to break the cuffs, mine and some of my colleagues then we could do the rest alone and she could retreat. But for that she needed to beast out and I didn't knew if she could so shortly after being tranqued. Obviously she could and maybe I pushed her a little more with telling her what I really thought about her. Breaking out of the handcuffs with a growl she stood up, I felt a sliver of hope before she jumped out of the cell, killing the guard and leaving me behind. And still cuffed. Bitch.

Making use of the many yoga classes I had recently taken to find my calmness I awkwardly freed myself, I probably strained some muscles but that couldn't stop my right now. I jumped a little when my phone ranged, answering it while I made my way through the basement. When Gabe told me that Vincent was somewhere in the building I wasn't sure if I could count on his help. He was so far gone from his heroic self these last weeks that I didn't knew if he would care for anything more than his necklace and Tori. And my fears were confirmed by Vincent himself and no matter what I said to him, I couldn't get through to him. I was about to lost all hope in him when all of a sudden he told me about the shackle and what it truly was. As he said the word leash out loud, I instantly pictured him in a cage, beaten and bruised with a collar around his neck. That image made me sick and I closed my eyes for a second to get rid of it. I needed to focus and I needed to move because it was clear that he wouldn't help me. As much as it disappointed me, I could understand him somehow but he chose a really bad day for this conclusions. He wasn't the selfless hero anymore, he had been betrayed and deceived once to often to risk his life, his security anymore. So I was on my own in here. When I walked away from the basement I felt again how a little piece of the Vincent I knew and loved broke away. It was like coming to an understanding at a highly inconvenient time. Even when his memories were back, to much had happened to him, with him and it had changed Vincent forever. So clearly, if we got out of here alive maybe I needed to get some time, to once and for all grief the loss of the man I loved more than anything and maybe after that I could learn to accept this new Version of him. Because if I didn't I would loose him again and this time forever.

 _ **Vincent:** Move on? So that's what this is about. You're still waiting for her._

 _ **Gabe:** Actually, she's waiting for me._

Vincent:

He was telling the truth, I was feeling it and I hated it. The thought of her kissing him or his hand on Catherine made me feel numb and on fire at the same time, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't say anything back to him. I had lost the right to say anything. He knew his words had wounded me and that text had somehow saved me, so I didn't had to be in his presence any second longer. I needed air to calm down, to get this image out of my head and so I made my way over to the precinct to get Tori. They had nothing against her so maybe I had a chance to get her and the necklace. This damn necklace. Even after a few days, the thought about what she stood for, what the gem was really used for still made my skin crawl. At some point in history some people had kept my kind like animals. On a leash. Whenever I thought about it, picturing me or Tori with that thing around our necks, bile rose in my throat. I would never let anyone use it again. But clearly, someone knew about it and I was obsessed with the need for answers. Someone wanted this collar and I had to find out who, I even let Tori wear it in public. Hoping that whoever wanted it would find us.

When I turned around the corner the street in front of the precinct was full of cops, their police lights painting every surface in blue and red. Gabe was standing under a tent, probably some kind of operation central. For that much cops in full swat gear it was far to easy to get behind the barriers and to Gabe. I took my chance and gave the building plans a look over, trying to find a way in so I could get Tori and my Necklace. I didn't really cared about this hostage situation, they had enough men out here to solve this situation on their own. Until he confirmed me that Catherine was in there too. As much as I fought against it, the thought of Catherine in danger still made my blood run cold. Walking away without another way to him, I decided to go in, getting Catherine out of danger before getting Tori and my necklace. It sounded like a good plan but when I dropped out of the ventilation shaft, she stood right in front of me clearly okay. Catherine immediately justified an unconscious Tori both of us not knowing how she could take her out. And while I took a look at her and pocketed my jewellery safely, she started the same speech about how her old Vincent wouldn't care about himself and instead would have saved all the innocents. Blah blah. I was so sick of it. I had always tried to do the right thing. Had always wanted to safe people. And what had I gotten for it? I had sacrificed so much, so often and was always kicked around for it. Had almost been killed. No one ever stood up for me, not even Catherine. So I tried to tell myself that I didn't care, that I could walk out here without interfering. And I almost could, until I heard Tess's desperate cries. And while this guy counted down I found myself torn between the two half's of my soul, old Vincent and new Vincent. Making a decision in the last moment.

Standing in the room, feeling all their eyes on me I hoped so desperately that Cat would hold her promise, that I wouldn't trust her for nothing. And when that asshole put his hands on me, searching me, I tried to keep calm. But the moment he took hold on my property, a shudder went through me, opening the door to my other side. Feeling myself changing, I let loose in the darkness Catherine had gifted to me. A few movements later most of the attackers were down and Tess shouted to everyone to get out, while I searched for the gem. When I took hold of it, the sound of bullets echoed through the room leaving me no choice but to duck behind a desk. I felt it immediately, the loss of strength and power. With Catherine screaming my name and shots coming from everywhere, I lay under that damn table trying to get back into my beast mode but with no success. Totally confused I felt myself being dragged up. This guy punched me, my jaw exploding in pain and nothing inside me changed, nothing hummed with rage. Had I lost my beast was the last thought before he knocked me out. When I got back, I heard her words, mumbled and breathless. The necklace. The moment my skin lost contact to the metal my beast roared in anger.

With his fire in my veins they had no chance. And they would give me answers. They had to. Holding him up I demanded to know their boss, any information in the promise of his survival. Starring him down my view was distracted by a little red dot, jumping over her upper body.

Every muscle tensed and jumped to action. Crashing into, her I covered her body with mine, protecting her from the bullet as I pulled her down. When the shot hit his target neither of us really heard it. It was dulled by the feeling of her her in my arms, close to me and the realisation that she had protected me. She had hold her word. And was thankful that I didn't left. So many thought ran through my head but before anything could get out of me the room was stormed by cops, breaking any connection we had for a second. When our statement had been taken I watched Gabe rub her wrists, touching her soft skin and it was enough to remind myself that she was with him now and that I should go. Searching Tori or something. When I found her, she was a little shaken but okay. I sent her home and went to search for the necklace but no matter where I looked, I didn't found her. She was gone. Damn.

If they had taken it it could mean trouble for us. Real trouble. Catherine obviously saw the struggles and surprisingly apologized for her words before. Somehow it seemed like she would honestly understand it better now, what this Gem could mean to me, to us and why I had to have it. So I could prevent others from using it. And I was sure that someone wanted to use it. Maybe on me or Tori, or even worse on new beasts. I couldn't let that happen. So I jumped over my shadow and asked her to work with me, together. This was so much more than our personal problems. Before we could get back to arguing with each other Tess ran over and almost jumped at me. Thanking me for saving her. I didn't wanted to say it out loud but I felt good. Better than being invited as the last one to a party where I had to watch Gabe and Catherine together. So I politely declined and made my way home. Were I wouldn't be alone but somehow would feel like it.


	12. Chapter 12 Recipe for Disaster

_**Hey my lovely readers, thanks again for your sweet words. Especially BettyEs, I think if I had found that show a few years earlier we could've had wonderful conversations about it! So after watching this episode I felt a little bad, I didn't liked Tori far from it, but she hadn't deserved to die. I would've preferred it if Vincent had become honest with her and clearly would have chosen Cat. So many missed opportunities... As always I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing it!**_

 _ **Catherine:** Hey, is everything all right?_

 _ **Vincent:** You know what? I'm not sure. Am I calling too late?_

Vincent:

I honestly couldn't remember when it happened the first time. But somewhere in these last weeks I had gone back to my bed, sleeping alongside with Tori. Maybe searching for any kind of human connection. And then, one night suddenly we weren't just sleeping. We had been side by side and then, she just had come closer and kissed me. There were no fireworks, no desperate need to get closer like I had always felt with Catherine. Just two people searching for their own satisfaction. Afterwards, I realized it had felt more like a strange security blanket. In a time, when we both felt so lost we had turned to each other, trying to get rid of this all consuming loneliness we sure both felt. And while Tori thought of us now as Boyfriend and Girlfriend, I was too messed up to tell her otherwise. I didn't love her, not even close but, I think for both of us, pretending to be together somehow helped us to stay sane. But than, lately the ice between Catherine and me seemed to melt, leaving tiny water droplets of hope everywhere we met. Cat felt it, I felt it and I was sure Tori wasn't so blind either. We reconnected over her ancestor, over the search for my gem. We had worked together for so long, it had always been safe ground for the two of us. And the more friendly we became with each other, the more trust we regained, the more I realized how big my mistake had been. Despite this whole Tori and me disaster, I had come to the conclusion that I had chosen the wrong path. I had been so blinded with my need for revenge that I had lost the sight for what I already had. For what Catherine meant for me, for my future. When I had pushed her out of the line from that bullet it had hit me like a truck. The closeness to her, the feeling that overcame me when she looked me so deep in the eyes. It had felt like home. A home I wrongly had moved out from. And now all I could do was peek through the windows.

I was so desperate to hear her voice that I called her almost every night. I worked like a mad men to help her, to find out any thing helpful just to have a reason to talk to her. Of course, it was unfair to Tori but I just didn't knew how to get out of this situation with her. So I acted like a child, closing my eyes and pretended she wasn't there most of the time. We still slept in my bed together but I recoiled every time she tried to come closer to me. I had felt so ashamed after the last time, using her just to feel something good, anything, that I would never let it happen again. So far, she hadn't said a thing about it but I knew how frustrated she was with my behaviour. And when she stood in my kitchen, asking me for this one thing she needed, reassurance, I couldn't give it. I would never deny my feeling, my love for Catherine. But I was also too much of a coward to tell her straight that this was wrong, that we had no future. That we should end this farce. Maybe because I couldn't bear the thought of being alone again or more likely because she had nowhere to go. She depended on me. And I would never kick her out, abandon her because that just wasn't me. Back to pretending, I guess.

The silence between us on our way to J.T.'s party was deafening, she was nervously playing with her hair while I just counted my steps, finding no words with meaning to say to her. Should this be it? Would that be my future, bound to a woman out of guilt and responsibility? Trapped in some kind of fucked up relationship without love? The thought alone made me feel like I was strangled, like my throat was too tight to suck any air into my body. Luckily, we arrived at the Gentlemen's Club so my mind could get off this hopeless situation. The party had already started and people were mingling, enjoying food and drinks. Tess and Gabe were there too, standing in the middle of the room talking to her. As always, Catherine's smile had brightened the room and my day. To calm my racing pulse, I had gone straight to our save topics, asking Gabe for the files and telling them about my idea of cross reference of our informations. When Tori confusedly asked about what's going on, it dawned on me that I haven't talked to her about any of that. It hadn't even occurred to me. Politely, Catherine gave her a run down while I tried to decide how much of an asshole I was. Thank god, we're interrupted by J.T. and, for a well owned moment he simply enjoys our praise and hugs. Until he got to Tori and suddenly it's painfully awkward again and after her departure, I knew immediately that I had to go after her. See Mom, I haven't forgotten about all my manors.

Outside, she bluntly tells me that she feels mistreated. How afraid she is of losing me especially since I obviously decided to work without her. That she's feeling so way out of all this while her biggest threat was in it. Catherine. It's not the first time she talked so openly about her feelings and fears but the first time I really listened. I obviously hadn't been as inconspicuous as I wanted too. Hadn't thought about her beast senses. I feel sorry for it, deeply but I couldn't change how I feel. Somehow I realized that this was the moment to come clean, to finally talk about how wrong this all was. She seems to see it herself, this charade wasn't making anyone of us happy. And no matter how much I feel responsible for her, it wasn't my job to replace her family, I understood that now. So I tell Tori that I need space, time to think and, as gently as I tried to be, she knows as much as me that this is most likely the end of us. It made me feel bad how relieved I felt afterwards, I should have ended this way more sooner. Before she developed such strong feelings. Back inside, I focus on the more important things, manly the hunt for my gem. They had formed a solid plan for finding the location of the dungeon, but before we all can jump into action I needed a drink and Catherine somehow felt the need for giving me advice. There was no way I could tell her the truth so I sat there and listen to her. The word friends cuts open my barely stitched heart and hearing how hard it obviously was to be with me, doesn't help much either. Drinking my Bourbon, I gave myself a minute or two of self loathing before taking a deep breath and going home to get the files.

 _ **Catherine:** Nice dress. _

Catherine:

It was hard to watch the Interactions between Vincent and Tori, so awkward and forced. I think everyone of us knew that this wouldn't last but it wasn't our place to tell. After that horrible moment with Tori and J.T. I did even understood her departure. He was doing it again, protecting her by leaving her in the dark. Just like he did with me. No wonder she felt like an outsider. And so I swallowed my ego with a little help of champagne and tried to give him a advice. The way he looked at me when I started talking, like he had thought we could never talk again outside of work and case, had made me sad. How could this man not know, that despite what had happened, I would always care for him, probably always love him. And that I wanted to help him. The pain in his eyes as the word friend left my mouth matched my feelings. I had the suspicion we would never be just friends but why torture ourselves over that thought now? I recommended him to talk to her, told him how I knew how it felt to be shut out like that. I had fought hard against his walls when I had met Vincent at first and I saw Tori doing the same now. It depended on Vincent, if he would let her in, like he did with me all those time ago. It still felt like yesterday. I didn't understood his choices but I genuinely wanted him to find happiness. Peace. No one deserved it more than him.

 _ **Later...**_

The raw panic in Vincent's eyes exploded in nano seconds. That something happens to J.T. or me because of him, had always been his greatest fear. And now it had become reality. I didn't even really try to hold him back, knowing it was useless. I told him my assumptions, that it would be better to take time for a plan but him destroying the poor chair spoke volumes. He was ready to risk everything. No matter how dangerous it would be, how clearly would be a trap, he would do anything for his friend. So the only thing I could do was helping him. Now, that we had Dana on our side, no matter the reasons, we could finally use her work results too. Throwing all our leads together we hopefully would get a better picture and maybe even a chance to save J.T. and Vincent. Without the danger we're all in it would have been a nice treasure hunt, I thought while racing north. When we finally saw the smokestack, knowing we had found the right place I had only moments to react, almost driving J.T. over. Making sure he was save and mostly okay, I got hold of my gun and entered the creepy building. Vincent was here and I needed to find him fast. It had surprised me how much this place I read so much about really looked like a dungeon even after all this years. With all the low ceilings, stone walls and iron bars, just like you would imagine. As I stepped down the stairs, carefully avoiding to make any noise, I hear a voice. Followed by an all too familiar growl. I was close. I just went around the next corner and there he was, talking to the bad guy probably. Taking a deep breath I held on to my gun while I silently approaching the male figure standing in front of me. Closer and closer, until the click of a gun safety makes me freeze. With no time left I did what I had to do to protect Vincent. Pulling the trigger, the shot echoes loudly though the space before the man collapses in front of me.

The first thing I saw was Vincent, inside a cage but thank god alive. I scanned him for any injuries while I made my way over to him, to get him out of that cell. But as my hand went for the door, my eyes dropped to the body lying on some kind of bench. Tori. She doesn't move, her eyes are closed and without being a doctor I knew she was dead. I stand there, frozen as Vincent sinks to his knees in front of her, clearly realizing the same. Suddenly I felt like an intruder to a very painful moment, so I slowly stepped back, letting him alone to mourn her. My eyes were taking in the rooms of the dungeon but my mind was too shocked to really see anything. No matter how I felt about her, she was an innocent Girl, pushed into this life by tragedy and she didn't deserved to die like that. Nobody deserved too.

 _ **J.T.:** Want to get drunk?_

 _ **Vincent:** No. I don't know, man. Just go away._

J.T.:

Paying for the Scotch I tried to decide if I should wait for a day or follow my intuition. Would he rather want to be alone? No, my gut told me he needed a friend, someone he trusted enough to talk to. And so I made my way towards his boat, hoping that I would find him there. He looks like shit and tells me to go away, but the way he leaves his door open tells me different. Sitting across from each other, we quickly fell into our beloved game of whose fault is it and when I see how he falls back into his old selfhate I know I need to tell him. Like now. For month, I had thought about confessing to him, to come clean now that Pandora's box had opened inside my head and wouldn't close again. But until now, the fear of losing him, of seeing the betrayal in his eyes had kept my mouth shut. Because I didn't knew if I could handle him cutting me from his life. But seeing him like this, devastated over Tori's death, most likely thinking he was the reason made my fears look smalls. Knowing, he would letting himself drown in his guilt. Probably committing suicide, I took a deep breath and told him before I lost my courage. Told him what I had done to him and why I had done it. Hoping he would somehow understand. It was hard to look at him while I laid out the ugly truth, but the disappointment I had anticipated so much didn't showed. He also didn't beast out. Vincent just looked at me, trying to comprehend this new information. How it would always be my fault instead of his. Seeing his eyes become glassy, I had thought for a moment that I had destroyed it all. But than, he just said 'You're right, you win' and had downed his glass. Seeing the pain in his eyes shredded my heart but just like the V I had always known and loved, I realized he wouldn't reproach it to me. He was hurt, but to my luck understood my reasons, knew I had wanted to keep him safe. With nothing else to do, I just grabbed the bottle. Pouring him another one, double this time, we were silent for a second more, both acknowledging my actions and my remorse before going back to our normal conversation. And just like that, I knew he had forgiven me. All the fear that I had bottled up over the years just went softly out of the window, like a cloud slowly disappearing into nothing.

We talked about Tori, how she had never come to terms with her fate and I needed to remind him, that he did. I knew, he would try to burden himself with her dead but I showed him how much he had helped her also. How much he had sacrificed for her. And that maybe it hadn't be in his hands. As always when he was feeling down, he struggled with his beastly side, but I had seen his progress over the years. Had seen how he had changed. As his friend I would always be there for him, holding the mirror straight in his face. So he could start seeing himself clearly. He had found a way to accept it, to even do something good with his condition. Vincent had saved so many lives and sometimes, I needed to remind him of that. That he was a hero in my eyes. V had done anything he could to protect Tori but this time had failed. And I would help him to process this, just like I always did. Both of us had tried to find peace, love over the last year but somehow it hadn't worked out. Maybe, we were destined to be on our own. With Catherine out of the picture we were back to the start. Just us two against the world. Vincent doing good, helping people and me protecting him. Just like it had always been for the last years. The only thing missing was our warehouse...


	13. Chapter 13 Till Death

**Thanks for all your nice reviews, as always they make my day way more better :-) What a heartbreaking episode... in the end I had even tears in my eyes... I hope I got it halfway right, there was just so much going on... And again, I hope you enjoy!**

 _ **Vincent:** Great.So much for being on my own._

Vincent:

All I wanted was to be left alone. But maybe the stars were strangely aligned this year or nobody had a live of his own anymore because my boat seemed to have lost his door. J.T. basically was around me the whole day, doing his researches from my breakfast bar and always subtle tried to talk about my current stage of grief. Tess had texted the day after, to tell me how sorry she was for my loss, no matter how her feeling towards Tori had been. Even Catherine had stopped by in the first days, giving me her condolences and precooked food. They all thought I was mourning while the truth was, as cruel it may sounded, I was okay with it. Of course, it was sad but I couldn't tell them what her last words had been or how I already had made my peace with her death. Because how would that look? She had been with me, in a relationship and now it would seem like I couldn't care less about her death. Of course I felt guilty. I had cared for her, really I did, but none of them knew what we had meant to each other. How complicated it had been. How far away from love. Some hours I wondered a bit myself, how I could be so okay with this, maybe I really lost part of my humanity.

Now, all I wanted to do was lie on my couch, watching crap TV and wallow in self pity. Alone. Being angry at myself and thinking about how I wrecked my life. On how I screwed up my chance with Cat. How I drove the woman that owned my heart into the arms of another man, Gabe's more precisely. They just started to bond but I saw the look on his face every time she came into a room, heard his heart speed up. He was head over heels and she obviously trusted him, cared for him. Maybe more. It all depressed the hell out of me and now I couldn't even be pathetic in private because everyone thought I was thrown out of the loop by Tori. No one wanted to leave me alone or believed me when I told them I was okay.

This morning, when I was in my usual comfort robe trying to watch the real housewives of who knows where and J.T. asked me again if I was still feeling guilty, I just snapped. Trying to get him of my back, I asked about the flowers he was currently buying. It was a sweet idea but he would never get Tess with flowers, she wasn't the type for that. But would I tell him that? Nope, not today. And when he ranted about his knowledge of psychology and how nothing could shock him, I decided to give it a try. I told him about Tori's last words and watched with satisfaction how his jaw hit the ground. Nothing could shock me, my ass. Somehow he was totally okay with me don't grieving for her. I didn't understand that. Then all of a sudden he jumped to his feet, trying to get me to watch some chick flick in French which would be kind of a metaphor for my situation. No thanks. So I told him why I wouldn't do anything, all of the points I had carefully put together in my mind the last days. My list. While I had been laying on that beautiful couch I had come up with a mental plus and contra list, quickly realizing that for Catherine there would be way to many points on the contra side if she would ever decide being with me again. The only plus for her of being with me was my unconditional love for her. And it paled in relation with the long list of contras. The Danger of exposure, the never ending hiding, the beast and the content risk for her Job, family and life. Just to name a few. No matter how I felt about it, she deserved a chance on a normal relationship, she had wanted it before and she had that chance with Gabe. Did I hate it, yes but I would do my best to be her friend as long as she would let me.

After I had explained that to J.T. in a short version, he had looked at me like I was crazy. How could he not get the point? Should I write it down for him to get a better image? And to make this situation even more uncomfortable, my 'friend' was just walking down the pier, Tess with her. Was it really too much to ask for some time on my own? Just to get my head back right, to put my walls back up. I had a feeling I would need them. All I wanted was some time, just a few days and now, it would be crowded in my tiny boat in just a minutes. Coming inside, she shocked me with the information that the bad guy she killed wasn't really the bad guy we had thought. But I had been so sure, I thought while making my breakfast. She softly told me the reason why she hadn't told me that earlier and J.T., best friend extraordinary, made immediately sure she knew I was okay and over everything. God, this situation was so absurd. I ate my sandwich while she explained what happened at the dungeon this morning, what she thought she had heard. Of course, I would help her with that, but it sounded really good that she would do her own day job, so I could stay out of her presence just for a little while longer. Getting that time on my own. The second her cellphone cut through the silence and she told us the news of Sam's attack, I knew my precious couch time was finally over. Catherine instantly assured Dana, she would bring me with her, which meant I had to finish my food, get a shower and wear real clothes again before meeting actual people. Goodbye my lovely robe. Hello real world. When an hour later, Sam suggested us as their security on their second wedding I knew that it would be a bad idea. Being trapped in such a romantic environment, with her and Gabe sounded like nightmare even before Dana mention the Date. No way, I would not spend Valentines day watching Gabe ensnare Catherine. Not happening. But wanting to help as always, Cat made the final decision for us all but had the decency to look as uncomfortable as I was feeling. Great. I missed my couch.

Fleeing from that awkward situation and maybe a little from Catherine, I found myself in the dungeon, searching for a cellar or any lower level but finding nothing. While I stomped on the floors and looked for any kind of hidden way down, I remembered the dream I had a couple nights ago. I had regained my memories a while ago now, but most of them were still very foggy and some would getting clearer in form of dreams. It was from the time we had discovered the truth about Gabe and how thrilled she had been on the possibilities from those meds. I recalled how Catherine had wished for normality, how she wanted to go out and to the movies. Waking up that day, I had fought my feelings, telling myself over and over again that she could finally have that now. Not with me but with him. I could honestly say that I wanted her to find happiness, no matter how, but thinking of the events just hours ago I realized I didn't wanted to watch it. Just because this was obviously my lucky day I ran into Catherine again, on my way out. She had sensed my uneasiness at Dana's Apartment and started to explain her reasons, which were totally understandable but that didn't helped me. So as inconspicuous as I could I asked her about Gabe, how he would feel getting somewhere on Valentines day, with her ex coming along. She answered with us being friends but the sound of her heart betrayed her. Something was still wrong. And there was no way I could concentrate on anything other than her pulse when it was so loud, so I asked. Quickly realizing this was a mistake because somehow I found myself defending Gabe, without wanting too. How do I always get in this situations? And to make it even worse she thought all her problems routed in her last relationship. Ouch. Thank heaven, I found the hidden ladder just moments later, finally ending this torturous conversation.

 _ **Catherine:** Darnell has been burning bodies underneath Sam's cell. Someone burns toast two floors below me, I can smell it._

Catherine:

Dragging Sam into our interrogation room was maybe a little over the top but I needed answers. A wish I regretted just minutes later when he identified Gabe as the mysterious visitor who had come to the dungeon. One second and all my doubts were screaming loud again. Like fuel poured into a fire. As much as I tried to concentrate on this Clara, my mind always came back to that nagging feeling I had about my boyfriend. And with none other to talk to, I asked Vincent. To my surprise he spoke for Gabe, even tried to find reasons for his recent behaviour. Maybe he did buy me a present or was stressed. Satisfied for the moment. I could search some more and finally came up with a connection. Not a good one. Back at the gentlemen's club we told Tess and JT. about our lead. We all felt strange to investigate against Gabe but I needed to get a definite proof that he had nothing to do with this. I didn't trusted my own judgement anymore. And than out of nowhere, the person I had at least suspected defended him, again. What was up with him? How could he not get suspicious? Vincent had somehow started to believe that he screwed me up and that I was now losing my chance on a healthy relationship. How strange. But seeing how agitated I was he assured me to help find answers. And than, when J.T. found that payment for a Mexico flight I knew I had to talk to him, now. While my friend Vincent would take a look at his apartment.

Masking my nerves I asked him about knowing Sam, about this Clara and the weird way he was acting. He denied any knowledge. And than blew me away with confessing about this romantic trip he had planned. Sure it was maybe a little over the top but just the thought of beaches and margaritas alone made me smile. Relieved, I apologized to him and quickly after that I found myself on my couch, kissing him like never before. It still felt strange, different but maybe I just needed to get used to it. But all of sudden I was kissing air. Opening my eyes I saw an outraged Vincent holding Gabe against the wall, cutting of his air. I immediately jumped to their side, trying to explain what happened to Vincent but the words died on my lips as I saw the vial. Could he really? Again, Gabe denied it all, said he was setted up. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, all this hot and cold gave me a headache. Vincent stepped politely to the side but it was hard to talk to Gabe with him standing so close. Should I apologize? I felt like that wasn't enough, but didn't he saw my reasons, my fears? Even when Vincent confirmed that Gabe wasn't lying, I had a bitter taste left in my mouth.

Had it been always so difficult? So hard to trust? Why did Vincent defend him so much? Looking at him, standing in front of me I remembered it hadn't been like that with him. I had trusted him with my life, my heart. It had been so easy to be with him, so many beautiful things had outranked the few obstacles. Or was that just in my imagination? For a second all I wanted was for him to take me in his arms, make me feel save and happy again. Like I had always felt with my head pressed against his heart. But he didn't, he just mumbled some excuse and than almost ran out the door. And so that feeling faded away. When I later heard the Story of Dana's and Sam's Son all my stupid problems faded away. They had lost their Child, their everything and I was getting desperate over some relationship drama. How insignificant in relation, even when they both smiled you could still clearly see the pain in their eyes. No parent should ever get to know this kind of pain, but no matter what both of them had endured they still had a smile on their lips and love in their hearts. How admirable. It was that moment that I decided I would do anything, so they could have a day of peace. They definitely deserved it.

 _ **J.T.:** Oh, my God, you do still have feelings for her._

 _ **Vincent:** Yes. Okay, yes. Fine, I do._

J.T.:

I knew it. He had maybe fooled Tori and the others, but I had known he would never stop loving Cat. And with her fighting with Gabe it was his Chance, his window. They weren't even really together I think so maybe he could jump in between. But as always, Vincent, the knight in shining armor would never do such unworthy things. With his whole speech about how he thought her problems with Gabe were his fault, he reminded me terrible of his old self. Never good enough. Always carrying the weight of the world. The look on his face when he ended the call with Cat, knowing she was with Gabe again, confirmed my suspicions. He wanted her back but he would probably never do the first step. Never use his opportunities. Back to feeling unworthy I guess. So I had to do something before it all went down the drain again. Helping him. As they decided that Vincent would go with Cat to the wedding, I got him his best suit out. Making sure he looked to the point, a move he didn't understood. But maybe Catherine would take a look at him, swoon and forget about Gabe. Maybe. And somehow, I had a feeling that Cat had also taken a bit longer to choose an outfit because when they finally arrived, they looked like a celebrity couple. How could they not see it? They were destined to be together. Inside and out. And being his best buddy I would do anything to make them both see it.

Which meant being there for V in the beginning, because right now he had no intention to fight for her. He truly believed that Gabe was the better choice for her. I wondered if he remembered that this had always been his biggest fear last year. That she would choose Gabe over him. And now he just accepted it. It was heartbreaking to watch. To see how much he loved her, enough to let her be with someone else. No matter what he said, he was the most selfless man I knew. I could only hope that they would somehow, someday find each other again. Because that how it should be. I watched him walk away before dealing with my own heart. Fearing that I wasted any chance with her, I tried to explain the disaster at least. But she surprised me with being happy about the one thing I had done right. And my reward for it. How this goddess could ever take a second look at me was still a miracle. I couldn't believe my luck. Giggling like teenagers we made our way back inside but before I could take a step inside, I saw him. Standing outside the window while Catherine kissed Gabe under the bright light. I could almost see the pain, coming off him in waves before he turned around and disappeared into the darkness. In that moment I could do nothing. Other than appreciating my chance with Tess even more, because not all of us had the privilege of feeling loved tonight.


	14. Chapter 14 Redemption

**Hello my lovelies, I hope you all enjoy your weekend. New Episode, new chapter and I have to say, I think it was a good episode. V as a doc again plus that rowing machine... And finally Gabe starts to behave like I expected him to, I never trusted him and I am almost sure he will go back to being the bad guy. Overall I think J.T. had the best line in the whole Episode (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde). As always I hope you enjoy!**

 _ **Tess:** "Vincent"? You called him "Vincent"?_

Catherine:

Cancun...

The Wind blew in my face as I sat on that cliff, watching the sun come up from behind the horizon. Today we would fly home, back to New York and back to our lives. The last days had been such a whirlwind of emotions. At first, it had sounded like a beautiful idea, fleeing to a tropical paradise so Sam could be sure that Gabe was dead. But already when we arrived at the hotel, I began to feel quite uneasy without any reason. Maybe the overly romantic honeymoon suite felt a little too much too soon or I hadn't really thought much about being with Gabe 5 days in such close proximity. Maybe I just wasn't ready for all that. The first night I got so drunk on margarita's to fight my nerves that I fell asleep on the couch in our living room. How classy. And so it went on, I was jumpy and overall a nervous wreck the whole time we spent there. Neither the beach or the sun could calm me down. Of course, Gabe was the epitome of understanding, always assuring me that he had no expectations, that I could relax. Which I couldn't. On our last evening I slipped again, calling him Vincent as we walked along the beach. Maybe it was the starry sky above us, reminding me of the anniversary or the wine that I could still taste on my tongue. I just felt so comfortable and save, somehow my mind made the wrong connections and his name just fell from my lips. As always Gabe told me it was okay, that this was normal after being with someone else for so long. But I knew that it wasn't and I had also seen the hurt in his eyes. So, to save this evening, this disastrous Trip I did the only one I could think of. I slept with him. And it was okay, sweet and gentle but there was no fire, no heat. Not like it was with... No, I would not compare them to each other. I couldn't.

Gabe had still slept soundly when I had woken up, so I quietly had made my way out to get a clear head and to sort out my thoughts before we would fly back in a few hours. It was wishful thinking to hope our problems would be solved when we came back but I really hoped that our friends had found some lead. When I went back to our suite the smell of coffee wavered through the air and Gabe was already sitting on the table, enjoying breakfast. His smile, the glow in his whole being stabbed a needle in my heart. I should feel the same, look the same. Happy, blissful... But I didn't and I had no idea why.

It somehow fitted in the craziness of my life that the second thing, I would do back home, after coffee with Tess, as going to a fake funeral. My boyfriends fake funeral. Was it the first step to madness that it didn't even felt strange to come home, unpack and than getting dressed in my little black dress to get ready. I had reused Gabe's oil, the one he gave me for acting in front of Bob, so I would look a little teary eyed for my deceased Lover. While I concentrated on looking like I was mourning, Tess had a harder time staying in her act. And than I heard steps behind me.. I was surprised when Vincent, normally the calm itself in this kind of situations, acted a little off. He couldn't look at me, he was missing his tie. And the long I've known him, he had never overslept. Something was strange but I couldn't put my finger on it. He even asked how Mexico was, but overall our conversation was weird, with both of us not knowing what to say or where to look. When the pastor had finished his speech it was time to take a last sad look at the empty casket and than we waited for any reaction from Sam. Like expected, he was so sure of himself that he had the nerve to come over, telling me a bunch of lies while I chose my few words carefully and tried to behave like the mourning girlfriend. Thank god, Tess did most of the talking so I just had to stand straight and sniffle here and there.

When I came back to Gabe's Loft, he right away asked me about his funeral, how it was and how many people had mourned him. I wanted to spare him the bad feelings but somehow he saw right through my excuses. Even my flower line backfired at me, I hadn't know that he had sent them himself. My phone saved me from this more than uncomfortable situation and I was willing to go right to the hospital. But he didn't let me. I didn't saw the danger Gabe saw and I also wasn't sure if taking Vincent would be a good idea but I didn't wanted to argue now. Sending a quick text to Vincent, I made my way down to my car hoping we would finally getting some answers at the clinic. We desperately needed them, needed to know what Sam was up to. He waited in front of the hospital and together we made our way towards the station Tess had last seen Sam. We hadn't come that far when Vincent almost stumbled over a mistreated young patient, sending him straight into surgery after taking one look at the Kid's file. The way he checked on the boy, like it was the most normal thing for him to do made me realize again, that he was born to do this. As much as he tried to brush it off, it was striking to see him work in his profession, it reminded me of these little girls he had taken care of. Back when things were way less complicated. And without him saying a word I knew he loved it and how he missed it. When I realized all of sudden how badly I wanted to hug him, I quickly looked away and refocused on our mission. We needed to get into quarantine and fast.

 _ **Catherine:**_ _Find another way, we have to figure out how Sam's connected to all this before the other Jacob Sutter dies._

Vincent:

I knew how big the risk of getting caught were, but I couldn't go out of this hospital without some answers. Dressed in the white coat, I once so wore with so much proud, I made my way over to this guy's room. I hadn't expected to meet his wife but hoped I could give her some hope with my words. It reminded me of my residency, how I had once looked at a bright future but instead my life had become this. When I saw Jakob lying in this bed, fighting against his shackles I suspected instantly that no doctor here could help him. So I took a blood sample, hoping that J.T. would confirm my presumption. When my fried did exactly that I instantly felt the urge to help, to save this poor guy from either becoming like me or even worse die fighting it. No one deserved that and maybe we could find a way to prevent any of this from happening, maybe even heal him. While J.T. and I talked about possibilities of an antidote, Catherine came running through the door, telling us about another one. The closer she came the clearer I sensed her blood and I couldn't care less about what she was saying. She had been wounded. To my surprise, she didn't let me take a look at it but wanted me to track the new victim. I was more than reluctant, I just had decided not to use my beastly side for a while, to proof to me and her that I could do without it, live without it. That I could do it the human way. But she didn't let me. What does she wanted? On one day she told me to hold on to my humanity, the next moment she needed the beast. How should I find a balance when she didn't let me. Maybe, without it the man in me just wasn't enough for her. So thinking my part,I did what she asked and hoped that J.T. would find a way to save the poor guy in the hospital, somehow we seemed to be the only ones of us caring for him.

To track the other one was way to easy, so I had time to prepare myself for a trap. Maybe his transition wasn't completed, maybe he could come back. Sitting in the cell, with his back to me I tried to talk to him. Softly, gently. No matter what he had become, he most likely was a father, a husband to someone. People, who needed him. But no word from me was heard, he attacked me with a rage I knew too well. It didn't matter that I didn't wanted to hurt him, I knew I had to. But my transition came a little too late, he cut off my air and soon everything became dark. When I woke up in the dungeon I was a little confused about it. Why didn't he killed me? Not that I wanted him to, but he had the opportunity and didn't do it. Maybe this was a sign that there was still hope. Getting back to J.T. I asked for the antidote first. Perhaps we could try it on the new beast too. After some elusive answers on my side, I decided to explain my hesitation to my friend. How this seemed to become to much. I was constantly asking myself, in every situation was I human enough, was I to close to the edge of getting to primal and it was driving me insane. I couldn't struggle with that and do what they all asked of me. And if I ever wanted a chance with Catherine again I needed to stay as human as possible which meant not to kill that new beast. We needed to find another way. Focusing on the Jacob I could help, I took the antidote to the hospital hoping I wouldn't be too late.

When I could go back to helping people instead of killing them it would maybe help me finding my old self back and with all the luck in the world maybe win Catherine's heart back. Reminding her of the guy she fell in love with. If only she would understand that. But just as I had the confirmation that the antidote worked, that I had saved his life as me, the Doc not the beast Catherine came around the corner. The panic that came in waves off her on the prospect of Gabe turning back into a beast made my just found hope crawl behind a rock. She would never come back to me, to the beast. She was with a normal guy now and possibly the only thing I could do was help her keeping it that way. No matter how much it hurt. When she told me about her conversation with J.T. I was embarrassed for a moment, I had no problem talking about my wishes and motives with him, but I didn't wanted her to know them. I wanted to keep a little of my dignity, didn't wanted her to know how I longed for her, how I tried to be better for her. She shouldn't see the struggle, just the outcome. But, because I would do anything for her, I swallowed my pride and went to rescue her boyfriend. So she could be happy even if I had to become a killer once more, for her I would bear it.

Just like the last time, he was way more stronger than me. I tried my best to keep him away from Gabe but after he send me flying into a wall I knew I couldn't keep up anymore. Before I was up again, I heard the shots. And almost felt them. There goes another life, but no matter if she intended to or not, she had saved me from becoming a murderer again. And for that I was thankful. Out in the fresh air I was surprised that not only me had problems with distinguishing men from their beasts but she was starting to feel it too. Gabe, as always, broke our fine bonds by walking over to us and pulling her in his arms. Which was my cue to go. Before I could, he thanked Catherine and me and made a on of his lame jokes. I said my goodbye and started walking home, deliberating the whole way about what she saw in him.

 _ **Gabe:** You wanna talk about it?_

Catherine:

When we came home, Gabe asked me straight away what was wrong. I had thought about it the whole way to his apartment, how I had just killed a beast. It wasn't the first time but the first time that I had thought about the man that died along with it. The person. How could I have overlooked it all the time? And after all that Vincent had been through, all the beasts he had killed and now felt guilt over, I came along and asked him to do it again. How cruel of me. I was the one accusing him of being to primal, to far gone and now when he desperately searched for redemption I just pulled him back. It was just like J.T. had said. He was obviously doing it for me and I hoped for himself too. When I told that Gabe, he reacted in a way I would had never expected. Coldly saying that Vincent was no man, that he was a beast as that would exclude any possibility of humanity made me surprisingly angry. How could he. Vincent was by far the most selfless, kindest man I had ever met, he had just lost his way. And he was way more than just a beast. Gabe made it sound like he was an animal. And when he told me about his feelings, I was truly shocked. The thought of never seeing Vincent again, never talk to him again made my chest tighten, it physically brought me pain. And while I saw his reasons, he saw Vincent as a rival, maybe as a threat to us, I knew I could never do it. Also this words had come so suddenly and so harsh that I had the feeling I was talking with a completely different man. And I really didn't liked that side of him. At all.


	15. Chapter 15 Catch me if you can

**_Hello again my lovelies. I hope you all enjoy a little free time, I used mine to write! Thanks again for all your nice words, as always I hope you enjoy!_**

 _ **J.T.:** Dude what are you still doing here?_

 _ **Vincent:** Looking for Sam, go back to bed..._

Vincent:

Being a man. Stop being a beast. Earning her trust again, her respect. I had thought about that a lot. She wanted normal and I wanted her, which meant I had to become more normal. I didn't knew if I really could but I had to try at least. So while she had gone home with that douche last night, I had made my way over to J.T., doing my best to show her I could find the bad guy without. J.T. went to bed at 4 am but with no results so far I just couldn't do the same. Sipping on my sixth coffee that night I wondered if somehow the caffeine had stopped working on me. My eyes grew heavy while I searched every database, every property listing you could legally get access to, with zero outcome. It was frustrating, knowing how easily it would be to just go out and simply track him, but I wanted to make a point. I wanted to find him the old fashioned way. Going through my best friends kitchen I found no food but in the lowest drawer I saw a huge bag of gummy worms. Jackpot. The sugar would keep me awake so I started munching them. Half an hour later I had finally hacked my way into the facial recognition program, maybe the time I spent with J.T. over the years had finally rubbed off. I was still on it and halfway through the worms, when he came back from the dead in the morning, still wearing pj's and hraheading right to the coffee machine.. He had a little melt down when he saw saw that I also hacked into the surveillance system, but as always I could distract him. Not that I wanted to repeat the conversations about my new plan but at the end he had a good point with asking how I will know when I was beast free enough, but I was sure I would feel it when that time has arrived. I hoped so. While I was still lingering on that thought my eye cached the match on the screen. Got you. Man 1 Beast 0.

My euphoria vanished pretty quickly when our very humanly search for him on the street came up with nothing How could it be possible that no one had seen him? We had spent an hour showing his picture around but Sam seemed to be disappeared into smoke. It was unbelievable frustrating and J.T. arguing again with me about that I should track him made me weak. Was it worth it? After debating the thought for a minute I gave in and closed my eyes. Opening the cage inside me for just a second.

And it had been a very successful second. The moment I had him, I slammed the cage close again and went for my prey the normal way. Okay, maybe we needed some threats to get him into this cell and a little bumb to his head but hey we had done it beast free. I hope Catherine would be proud that we finally had caught this poor excuse of a man. While we waited for her we tried to ignore Sam, who was getting a bit annoying. But this asshole knew how to push my buttons, knew how to make me angry and the second he started talking about Catherine I lost it. And of course that was the first thing she had to see, me losing control. Just my luck. And against my previous hope, she and Gabe were far from thankful, they were really upset. As J.T. and I tried to tell them how it was better that he was off the streets they just shrugged it off and told us what a mess we had made. Nice. As J.T. tried to defend my actions again, I asked him to go, I knew it didn't mattered what we said. Ashamed about being scolded like a child I gave up. I just wanted to go home and beat myself up. I was about to leave when I heard him talking to Gabe and the second he told us about his newest beast I was on high alert again. Another poor soul. Another one, I would do anything to save. And this time he would not die.

Finding Gabe later at my place was not really improving my mood. I tried very much to control my face while he laid out all the reasons I was wrong for her, why he was the better choice. If he would only knew that he was telling me nothing new, that I had known that the whole time. He was the better man for her, the normality she so deeply craved. But I would fight for her until she, Catherine would order me to stop. Not her stupid boyfriend. I knew I fought an hopeless battle but it was the better option than letting it go and regret it in the future. To get my head straight I went out. Played some pool and maybe got some drinks to loose that crucial feeling of failing again. I was still doing it when my best friend found me and even when he had talked to me about this topic countless times in the last weeks he did it again. And said something that made it through my walls. Instead of doing what I thought she would want or anybody would want I sat down and considered for the first time in months what I wanted. And with all the pressure gone, I knew what my next step would be. When I couldn't get her to accept me, maybe I could start with accepting myself. With all of me. And I wanted to save this poor guy from dying in Sam's sick plan.

 ** _Tess:_** _Wait, you're dreaming about Vincent while you are sleeping with Gabe?_

 _ **Catherine:** Calm down, its not what you think. It was... more of a nightmare. I killed Vincent._

Catherine:

I was so damn tired after this dream. No matter what I'd tried, sleep hadn't come back and I had stayed awake the rest of the night, desperately trying to erase the picture of a dead Vincent out of my head. Unsuccessfully. And it wouldn't become easier knowing I had to work with him on that case. I could tell Gabe and myself a thousand times that I was over Vincent, that dream had made me realise how much I had lied to myself. And to Gabe. In a perfect world I would have the time to get some space, to clear my head and heart of all that deep feelings I still had for Vincent, but as always, my life was far from perfect. So my only hope would be that I somehow loose this feelings for him or maybe somehow transform them into something I should feel for Gabe. I could almost see the scowl on Tess's face if I would tell her my thoughts so I decided against it. Maybe I need to solve this on my own. With a fresh coffee in my hand I made my way back to my boyfriend to see if he had any new informations. We both worked hard on building a case against him, it was our only save topic to talk about since I still felt a little strange after our conversation last night. His words had been harsh but I saw the fear behind them, the jealousy. And he was right about it. I had thought about it the whole morning and after the dream last night I knew I needed to reassure him somehow that I was with him. Show him that Vincent was no threat to us and if he would believe me than maybe in time I would believe it myself. But when he held that key in front of my face all alarms in my head went off and a big stop sign illuminated behind my eyes. To soon, way to soon. To him it maybe was just a key to me it felt like a huge pressure bomb. I started to believe that my phone had a direct connection to the panic button in my brain because as I searched for any words it chirped again, rescuing me from this situation. And what a rescue it was, J.T. words made everything else unimportant in an instant. We just wordlessly grabbed our jackets and get going.

When I was back at work I talked to Tess first. Maybe that would take my mind of from what happened at the dungeon. The way Gabe had talked to Vincent had made my blood boil. Not the content but the way he was saying it. I knew Gabe was right in certain aspects but the way he belittled Vincent made me wanted to jump in front of him and protect him from Gabe's mean tone. What would have been the next step to kill my relationship, so I swallowed the urge dodown. It was all really confusing and frustrating and so I did what I knew would be best. I worked by the rules, trusted my gut. And to lighten the pressure level in my head I talked with Tess about that stupid key. Being a woman she saw it just like me. So with newly found clearance I did my best to find this guy, Xavier. I was about to drive to his apartment to see if I could find anything when I almost drove Vincent over. Just when I hadn't thought about him for a few minutes. While he jumped in my car and we talked about the case I dawned on me that he was really trying to save this Xavier. It was the most important thing for him and I felt bad for a moment because neither Gabe or I had thought about it. We were so focused on getting Sam that we had lost our look on the victim. And Vincent was right, Xavier was a victim. Just as I wanted to tell him that I would do anything to help him with it a loud sound hit my ears. The next seconds I was flung from left to right and when I finally could breath again I was hanging upside down in a totally wrecked car. Checking myself for any injuries I was relieved to find none. Vincent beside me growled as Xavier, full in beast mode came closer to our wreck. Shit, I was hopeless, hanging in my seatbelt but thank god the upcoming voices made him ran away. Vincent started to move around in the small space, clearly looking for a way out. Wiggling a bit I realised I had no chance to get to the opener of my belt. So I asked him for help and was rewarded with freedom and a major headache. Upside down the space seemed so much smaller and while we twisted and turned around to get a little more comfortable I earned some nice bruises from his arms and knees. It felt like playing a painful version of twister. After the fireman had promised help soon I was suddenly smashed with the scent of Vincent, the warmth of his body and the way some of his body parts rubbed against mine. It was highly distracting. I really needed to get out of here! Again my brain and my phone shared and obvious connection but I had no chance of answering it. When Vincent reached around my backside I had a very hard time controlling my breath. He found it just before I could make a complete fool out of myself. What followed was a very awkward phone conversation with Gabe and while I desperately tried to calm my hormones, I knew it would probably not earn me points with Gabe.

Later...

My heart stopped the second he pushed that button. A rage I had never felt before made me jump at him, beating him with my bare hands. When I had cuffed him and told him that he was dead if anything had happened to Vincent, I knew in my heart that I was meaning it. If Vincent was dead I would shoot him without blinking an eye. Running down the stairs I was greeted with smoke and havoc when I arrived at the lowest level. Hearing his voice made my heart soar, he sounded so desperate and when I found him I knew the reason. He tried harder when even I would have given up and he was successful. With Xavier alive I could finally take a look at the man in front of me, letting go of the fear for him. Without thinking I just threw my arms around him, holding him close to me with everything I had. He was alive and he was save, that was the only thing important. The world went away while I felt his body closing around mine, breathing him in. Of course, when the day came to an end I had to face Gabe who had witnessed it. Defending myself for something I had done without intention. Again I did my best to make him believe me, make him trust me. But the longer I tried the more hopeless it seemed. Maybe I needed to draw a line. Make a clean cut.

Making it harder for me, Vincent was dressed only in his robe and just out of the shower. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, focusing myself on the reason I was here. To tell him goodbye so I could be with Gabe. I stood in front of him, telling him all the words I had so carefully put together in my head. But the moment they fell from my lips I started doubting them. To my surprise he encouraged me. He was so understanding, he knew what I was trying to tell him and supported my decision. It was all going so well until he walked over to me. Until I got a closer look on the drops of water, running from the nape of his neck down to his collarbones. Until I smelled that unique scent of him. I shouted at my feet to move away but they just stayed still, letting him come closer and closer until we were almost breathing each others air. The world shrunk away until his face was all I could see. My mind screamed at me but like a flower follows and opens to the sun my eyes followed his every move, my soul opened for him. To come back to me, to touch me or kiss me just one last time. So I would knew that I hadn't imagined the power he held over me. And when my heart was about to blew up, he dipped his head and kissed me. Like a spark falling on dried leafs, a fire erupted in me, blazing through me and taking out my brain. All I could do was feel, feel what I had longed for too long. And when our clothes fell away, the flames between us grew higher, burning us both to the ground with a passion that would change our life's forever.


End file.
